Context is an amazing thing. While looking back on it, I'm sure my night with Maw did more than its fair share to leave me the man no psychiatrist wants, I didn't find myself as messed up about it. Hell, not that I'm proud of this, but at the time I actually thought it was kind of cool.
Which isn't to say my sleeping problems suddenly went away.
Between falling asleep, and my facial bruises my parents finally started asking if anything was wrong. I did what all kids do, and I lied. Told them I'd been staying up too late watching horror movies, and in an early morning sleep haze fell off the porch. I don't think they completely believed me, but they were too busy to care overly much.
That week I decided to do any and all research I could on Fae, fairies or any variant thereof. I thought actually knowing at least one of the things I was dealing with could severely help me.
I wound up at a metaphysical store called " Herb's : herbs and obscura " , the man behind the counter was an aging hippie type, white guy dreads , glasses and not that I understood it at the time, but reeking of weed.
"How can I help you little traveler?" He said with a smile as he put his book down.
"Fairies, do you know much about them?" I say tenatively. I'd asked this question a couple dozen times that day but it still made me feel like an idiot.
"Anything you'd like to know. Personally I've always been a sucker for the Cottingly fairies myself. " the man walks from behind the counter and shows me an entire section of books on the subject of the Fae.
He grabs a glossy black covered book and begins to flip through. They are beautiful old black and white pictures of what one expects when they think of fairies .
"Cottingly fairies, in my opinion , only real pictures taken. Fae are very shy you see." The man says flipping through the book.
"Not like those…new fairies I guess?" I say trying to think if a better way of putting that.
"New fairies?" He says, raising an eyebrow .
"Yeah, they stopped being nice, now they are huge and mean? Get picked on by other monsters I think? " I know I've fucked up when this guy is giving me an exasperated look.
"Listen little guy, we don't sell comics or anything here. We deal with the real supernatural elements in the world. Once you grow up a little, come on back, you are going to find the real supernatural is a lot less exciting than your comic books." The condescending tone sets me off. The fact I had 2 too many drinks before leaving the house probably didn't help.
"What's a fairy eat?" I say angrily
"Tree nectar and…" he starts.
"Wrong" I interrupt "Do they like TV? " I continue
"Of course not they…" he tries to say
"Wrong. One last question, have you ever actually met one?" I stare at him like I'm ready to throw a punch.
"Yes I. …" is as far as he gets before I bellow loud enough to shred my voice "Wrong!".
I let a few moments of pregnant silence hang between the two of us. When I speak, it's calm, low and the man looks very put off.
"No, you haven't seen anything. You are a fat old liar who is selling garbage to other liars who are lying about seeing things. You make money because you think this is fake.
But it isn't, and you have wasted my time. Actually you might get me killed , because in this entire damn town you are the only person even pretending to know.
I hope you meet one, one day. Remember to bring your fucking nectar when you do."
I slam his door hard enough to send the bell flying off and make the long day drunk slog back home.
I'm about 2 blocks away from my house and I hear someone yell "Hey fatass! ".
I turn to see two older kids, 16 or 17 walking toward me.
One wears a comically flared pair of jnco pants and a white tank top, the other has a grunge look about him. Long dirty blond hair , an old plaid shirt and torn pair of jeans.
I keep walking but they catch up quickly enough.
The grunge guy grabs me, and spins me toward them.
"Didn't ya hear us fatass? We're you ignoring your best friends?" He said in a mocking tone.
I'd never met these guys before but I knew their type well enough.
I'd finished my gin and Orbitz and my mouth felt like writing a few bad checks.
"No, I just never learned to speak asshole. Seeing as you and your husband have some free time want to teach me?" I shock myself.
Not as much as the knife the kid with the flared jeans pulls, mind you.
My first thought is to run, or apologize.
My second , drunken, sleepless thought is of Trenchcoat. And of course in my ethanol induced bravery I chose to emulate that prick.
I grab the kid's wrist and step forward, plunging the knife a half inch deep into my unfortunately sizeable man boob. The kid looks shocked and I do it again, blood starting to pour from the superficial wounds.
I'm drunk enough not to feel it, and I desparately scramble to find something cool to say.
"That's better." I say, just parroting what Trenchcoat said after being shot by the old man. Didn't make much sense in my situation, but I must have done something right. They didn't run screaming , but they did walk away mumbling about the "crazy fatass".
Probably should have got those stitched up at some point, as the left side of my chest is pretty garish now, but as we have established, I've never been the best decision maker.
I had no better luck the rest of the week, trying various occult bookstores , and even a wiccan church. While I found no shortage of people who said they believed in fairies, not one gave me the slightest indication they actually knew what they were talking about.
I contemplated just plugging in the device and trying to see what I could glean from the television shows, but I was having trouble keeping my faculties watching a couple hours a week. Adding more just didn't seem like a good option.
More booze, less sleep summed up the rest of my week. I was seeing my parents less and less but they , ironically, assumed this was me getting a more normal sleeping pattern and didn't ask.
I found myself relieved when , again it was only Maw that walked in the door. He had an old army issue bag with him and a grin that scared the hell out me.
He makes his way to the living room and unzips the bag. Inside are two bioorganic machines that I can only guess as to the function of.
The first clearly has a keyboard embedded in some red ,inflamed looking , tumor ridden mass. The only other thing I recognise is a lipless mouth with cracked yellow teeth.
The second was a greasy steel box with two limp veins potruding, on the end were lozenge shaped chunks of bone with ominous looking holes in them.
Maw is so excited he is panting, ropes of drool slowly making their way down his body.
He picks up the first machine and starts to press at the oversized keys. After a minute the mouth starts to move, and speaks with a breathless death rattle.
"Just us this week. Can talk now, brought surprise." The machine says for Maw.
"Maw, I want you to know , I don't like surprises from you guys. And for the record, that voice is really creepy. Guess it's better than charades though." I say sitting down on the couch, nervous as to what the 'surprise' would be.
"You'll like" Maw typed.
He takes the second machine over to the television and as he fumbles around I start to realise what it has to be.
"Is that a video game?" I say morbidly curious.
He doesn't turn, just gives me a massive thumbs up.
"Okay, no, your t.v. is screwing with me , last thing I need is a video game. You are on your own man, I'll be in my room." I say getting up.
"Trust me." Maw types and flicks on the system.
The television screen starts to get overlaid with hair fine clear veins, they flash a few colors then steady themselves on an obvious title screen.
There is no gore, no hypnotic images, just a colorful, crisp title screen showing a 16 bit police officer chasing down a stereotypical looking inmate. The title "Prison Break" jauntily bounced and flashed.
Maw sits down with a thump and picks up one of the bone controllers. The screen changes to a beautiful cartoonish prison. The graphics were obviously in the 16 bit range, but they had so much depth, and we're so crisp, I found myself walking over to the television despite my better judgement.
There was no fountains of gore, no demons trying to get out of the system, just an amazingly detailed beat em up. As I looked close at the screen, I realised the tubes were creating literal depth , acting almost like a shadowbox to give the game the most legitimate 3d effects possible.
"What's the catch Maw? Seriously, I know there is one. " I try to sound authoritarian but I am actually getting more and more curious.
Maw shakes his head and types "No catch, just game, very real." With one hand deftly keeping his game going.
I try and tell myself that it's stupid, that nothing good could come of it, but I want to trust Maw, to think that I have something on my side in all of this.
So I pick up the controller , the buttons are recessed but the most responsive I've used, within a half hour I get used to the quirks of their operation and maw and I are catching and subduing prisoners .
After a few hours Maw switches up the game, again I put him through an interrogation about what I was going to see but he assures me it won't make me lose sleep.
As he places the writhing triangle of squirming flesh into the machine I realise that this is probably the longest I've went without thinking about having a drink in a couple of weeks.
This one was called "Offensive Driving " and had a very 90s raunchy edge to it, it was a top down racer, full of garbage to avoid, poop slicks, roadkill, elderly drivers , and all manner of edgy variants on the classic racing theme.
But the coolest part were the tracks. There were thousands , and from what Maw communicated to me, they were all 16 bit accurate to the cities they were named after.
I didn't believe him, so after a few matches where he showed me the ropes I obviously picked my hometown.
It wasn't to scale, but it was all there, every street, every business. Filled with plenty of objects to smash and power ups to get. Maw looked to the clock on the wall and typed "1 race" on his machine.
And it was one hell of a race , we traded paint, drifted around corners at full speed and threw every type of projectile possible at each other. But the last quarter of the race was in my neighbourhood.
I planned out where I was going to spin him out, right after the one way street that crosses mine. I hold back my speed, waiting for the right moment to hit his back quarter.
It goes off perfectly, his car spins and flips into a power pole.
I hear a massive explosion outside and see a pop of pure white, screeching metal and screams come from outside.
I drop the controller as I feel a pit open in my stomach. I don't run, but slowly walk out the door hoping my instinct isn't right. My heart begins to race as I smell burning rubber and look in the direction of the noise. Huge flames are lighting up the area about a block away as I realise , at least in part what happened.
Tears start to run down my face , I feel betrayed, I feel angry, I feel confused, and this all gets vented to maw.
"Why wouldn't you tell me? Those people are going to die, do you even care? You are just like those other two things, you're actually worse, you got me to think I had a choice, at least your boss was upfront about it.
And you want to know what else? He at least did the killing himself, he didn't make me do it!" I scream , my tears mangling the words.
"Very real, I said. No risk, no fun, I thought. I try. " he quickly types.
"Get out. If you want to hurt me, do it, if your boss wants to come back I guess I have to let him , but you, FUCK OFF" I yell using that word for one of the first times.
At first I think he is going to lunge, his jaw begins to clack together and I see more of his teeth than usual, but some grey chunky liquid starts to fall from his eyes.
"Sorry, friend, thinking is hard, always be monster." Maw types and with that greased eel speed opens the door and blends into the night.
I stare at the flames and black smoke in the distance , wondering how many people I've hurt. But I'm thinking more about how much I can drink before my parents get home.
Link to part 3
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/k0dlbd/why_i_cant_watch_britcomspart_3/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

What I’ve noticed about the general nature of atheist responses to this kind of post is an unfortunate misunderstanding concerning my purpose. Most seem to imagine that I have in mind a full scale Christian apologetic against atheism, or at least a presentation of insurmountable evidence for Christianity’s claims. This is not the vision.
For the sake of clarity, this post is meant to expose why the following atheist arguments (or, rather, assertions) fail to hit their target when debating with Christians. There are great arguments against Christianity, but this post is not about the great arguments, it's about the most popular ones.
My rebuttals are aimed at exposing why these overplayed hands are ineffective and will continue to be ineffective, not with atheists, but with many (hopefully most) believers. If I were to present an exhaustive apologetic against atheism, it would require many more posts, which I have no intention to write since it’s all been done before.
So, let's get on with it, shall we?

1. "There is no evidence for God’s existence."

There is at least one major problem with this line as it is typically presented.
One often hears, “there is no evidence for God, therefore Christians believe in fairy tales,” (or something to that effect) when what is actually meant is more like, “there is no physical proof of God’s being in the physical world, therefore Christians believe in fairy tales (since all ‘real’ things for the atheistic-materialist are assumed to be physical).”
The fact that Christians have never claimed to believe in a physical God – as merely one more physical Being among all other physical beings in the universe – does not stop these sorts of atheists from thinking they have laid waste to 40 centuries of religious thought, experience, and refinement with the mere mention of this evidentiary boogieman. It rarely occurs to them that such physical proof would actually run 100% counter to Judeo-Christian theistic claims. Their argument against a physical God is actually applauded and defended by Christians. The Bible proudly declares many times over that God is Spirit.

"Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen."-1 Timothy 1:17
"Wherefore should the heathen say, Where is now their God? But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased."-Psalm 115:2-3
"Thus saith the LORD, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: where is the house that ye build unto me? and where is the place of my rest? For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word."-Isaiah 66:1-2
"God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth."-John 4:24

Simply put: Christianity believes in an immaterial God, thus to demand material proof of His existence is nonsensical. This fact is not, of course, proof that the Christian claim is true, but merely proof that with such attacks the atheist has not even begun to swing in the direction of Christianity.
Many atheists will protest saying rather that God’s ‘activity’ should be detectable in the physical world, not His actual Being. Fair enough, but when presented with evidences of God’s activity in the world these same atheists roundly reject them, regardless of the soundness of said evidence. There simply seems to be no evidence of God’s activity in the world that passes the jury of popular atheist opinion. Many seem to think that admitting a single evidence into their court would equal a total breakdown in their case against Christianity. I remind the reader to please keep in mind: “evidence” does not equal “proof”. One is not intellectually forced to accept Christianity based on good evidence. Indeed, for this reason, when it concerns the Bible's command to make disciples and win souls, I am a practicing fideist, since I believe that a fideistic approach in persuading the non-believer of Christianity is consistently the most Biblical. Thus, evidence is for the believer to enjoy, rather than the unbeliever. However, this doesn't necessarily mean we as Christians should suddenly eliminate any and all discussion of evidence with unbelievers. It just means we shouldn't expect such evidence to bring them to faith, as that was never its intended purpose. In fact, depending so heavily on evidence instead of sound doctrine to convert others carries with it the risk of someone falling to Catholicism or, God forbid, Mormonism or JW theology, rather than simply getting saved. "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Rom. 10:17) and "he that hath ears to hear, let him hear" (Matt. 11:15). For "the Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit" (Rom. 8:16) that the Bible is true and "if we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which he hath testified of his Son [...] that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son" (1 John 5:9, 11).

"(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)"-2 Corinthians 5:7

What is discouraging when engaging with atheists in debate, particularly online, is the constant charge that faith is somehow illogical or irrational. However, the cut-and-dried distinction atheists attempt to make between religious belief and other forms of knowledge is ultimately untenable. There is no universal, rational foundation upon which indubitably certain knowledge can be built. All human knowing is built on believing. This is the human condition. What should instead be our main concern is whether or not one's faith in something is justified. This is how we discuss the validity and/or reasonableness of any other conclusion made by the human mind. To take this away would be to destroy science, and result in nothing more than unfiltered hyper-skepticism (otherwise known as solipsism...).

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."-1 Corinthians 13:12

It’s one thing to willfully deny the evidence for God after giving it an honest hearing, its another thing to remain willfully ignorant of an opposing view while claiming the opposing view is ignorant. I have found that such behavior is typically a sign of a person woefully insecure about his or her position, using an abundance of insults and/or trumped up charges of fallaciousness as cover for a bankruptcy of insight.

1. "Believing in God is the same as believing in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster."

What I love about this well-worn atheist ‘argument’ is that it actually serves to demonstrate how vastly different a belief in God is to these myths and imaginations. When one honestly assesses the Judeo-Christian doctrine of God, he will find multiple thousands of years of human testimony and religious development; he will find martyrs enduring the most horrific trauma in defense of the faith; he will find accounts in religious texts with historical and geographical corroboration; etc. (these facts are of course not ‘proofs,’ but rather ‘evidences’ that elicit strong consideration). Pit this against tales of the Tooth Fairy, Santa, and Spaghetti Monsters and one finds the exact opposite: no testimony or religious refinement, no martyrs, no historical and geographical corroboration, etc. Instead, one finds myths created intentionally for children, for point making, or for whatever. It’s strawman argumentation at its worst.
Again, just to be clear, testimony, martyrs, geography, etc., are not “proof” that God exists, but rather proof that comparing faith in God to faith in fairies and Santa is totally different.

1. "We don't need God."

According to the Bible, Jesus says "without me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5). But let's turn to a few other key passages to see if the 'argument' raised by the atheist here holds any water.

"And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul."-Genesis 2:7
"The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life."-Job 33:4
“All the while my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils;”-Job 27:3

Without God, we would have no life. We simply would not be alive had He not created us, nor given us the breath we take that we usually take for granted every day. The next time you breathe could very well be your last, because God gives, but He can also take away (Job 1:21).

"In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."-Genesis 3:19

As a Christian, I believe we should appreciate the gift of life we have by accordingly giving praise to the One who gave it to us. The very last verse in the very last psalm of the book of Psalms reads, "Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD" (Psalms 150:6).

"Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it."-Ecclesiastes 12:7

To put it bluntly, man needs God. The existential argument for faith which asserts that faith in God is justified because it satisfies certain human needs can be summarized as this: We need answers to the big questions of life. We need cosmic security. We need to know that we will live beyond the grave in a state that is free from the defects of this life, a state that is full of goodness and justice. We need a more expansive life, one in which we love and are loved. We need meaning, and we need to know that we are forgiven for going astray. We also need to experience awe, to delight in goodness and to be present with those we love. Faith in God satisfies all these needs. Therefore, we are justified in having faith.
An example fideists would use for this line of logic is the mother who has to believe that her son is alive in order to preserve her sanity. Or the lawyer who has to believe that his client is innocent so he can do a good job in representing him. Or, most poignantly, the person who’s life is so hard that she has to believe that the next world will be better than this one.
The existential argument for belief states that a person is justified in believing something—and is, in fact, being entirely reasonable in one’s belief—when that belief fulfills his need for meaning and helps him function in the world.
Imagine the person who has understood the logical implications of their atheism and, therefore, needs faith to function in order to quench his existential dread. He needs faith to carry on when everything seems hopeless. He thus decides to take a leap of faith in the direction of God. In the end, his belief that there must be something better than the life he is currently living gives him the resolve to do what he has to do.
The existential argument for belief, then, asserts that we are justified in having faith for no other reason than that it gives us the courage we need to act—and in acting, live meaningful lives with real intrinsic value (and hope in a better one that comes after this one).

“But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”-Matthew 4:4

At this point, the big shiny purple elephant in the room is that while the existential argument for faith may be psychologically valid, it is still only pragmatic. People may be justified in having faith because it helps them function, but the existential argument still gives them no reason to believe that the object of their faith actually exists. At this point, it seems that all the argument has done is score a point for old-fashioned American pragmatism that says, “if it works, then it’s true.”
However, to conclude that this was ever an argument for the existence of God is to miss the point entirely. The point is this: to cause unbelievers to take seriously enough the Christian faith so as to actually try it. Due to the noetic affects of sin, no argument will ever convince the non-believer, and this one is no different. Rather, this argument (and all others) should simply be used to spark within someone the drive to take the necessary leap of faith required to break through the barrier of man's inclination towards distrust and sinful rejection of God, thereby causing them to come to objective knowledge of the truth of Him through faith that's self-attesting.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen [...] Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear [...] But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."- Hebrews 11:1 ,3, 6

Like the old adage says, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

1. "Why should we believe in the God of the Bible? We could just as easily believe in zeus, allah, or some other [pagan] god(s) or goddess(es). There is just no reason for someone to place their faith in the Judeo-Christian God, since He is just another in a long line of many who claim to be the 'one true God.'"

I've previously discussed why this argument fails here. I highly suggest others take a gander and see the fuller refutation of this argument given in that post. For the sake of time (and length), however, I'll just quote the main objection I raised in regards to this charge.

[...] every other religion teaches us to earn our way to God. Christianity is the only religion that teaches that God came to us. Romans 5:8 says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus died for us before we did a thing for Him. God didn’t wait for us to get things right before He sent His Son to die. In fact, God sent His Son because He knew we could never get things right apart from Jesus! Other religions have systems of rules to appease their god. Christianity is a relationship with God. Other religions give us a list of things to do and not do. Some religions call them laws or pillars. These are things that you do in hopes of getting into heaven. Yet Psalm 145:18-19 tells us, “The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them." We don’t have to appease God to receive His favor. He already showed us His love for us by sending Jesus to die on a cross in our place, for our sins. The separation between us and God was appeased, and we didn’t have to do a thing except believe. Christians go to church, read the Bible and obey God’s commands, not because we have to but because we want to. We want to learn about this God who would go to such great lengths for us. We want to show our thankfulness for His grace by representing Him well with our lives. And we choose to follow His plan, knowing that a God who loves us enough to sacrifice His Son for us has our best interest at heart.
Put simply, man could not have conceived of a religion like Christianity on his own, because man (in his natural unregenerate state) is too proud to ever believe that heaven is a gift, and that it is not something you could ever earn by your own works or merit. Man's ideas of what constitutes righteousness before God is completely different than what God Himself expects of those who enter His kingdom, as sin is not allowed in the presence of a holy and just God. Therefore, the only way one could ever receive salvation is by being clothed in the righteousness of God Himself, and this only happens through faith and trust in His Son (and what He already did for you). Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." [...]
Some have argued that the mere existence of splintered denominations and beliefs within Christendom itself poses a problem for this line of logic. However, the apostle Paul (who wrote most of the New Testament) states that such a thing is really just another opportunity for those who preach the truth to stand out amongst the crowd. In 1 Corinthians 11:18-19 we read, "For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you."

1. "Why did God choose the Hebrews of all people?"

Israel stands at the crossroads of Europe, Asia and Africa. Geographically, it belongs to the Asian continent and is part of the Middle East region. In the west, Israel is bound by the Mediterranean Sea. Lebanon and Syria border it to the north, Jordan to the east, Egypt to the southwest and the Red Sea to the south.
The land of Israel just so happens to exist in a place where every continent touching it (those being Europe, Asia, and Africa) would have to go through said land and interact with its inhabitants in order to make trade with anyone else. This, to me, seems awfully coincidental if the God of the Hebrews didn't exist, and yet making proselytes were one of the goals of their religion.
Mind you, the point raised here isn't meant to undeniably "prove" that YHVH exists or anything like that. It's simply something that, I believe, should illicit serious consideration when one tries to find the answer(s) to the oft asked question "Why did God choose the Hebrews?"

1. "Christian’s only believe in Christianity because they were born in a Christian culture. If they’d been born in India, they would have been Hindu instead."

This argument is appealing because it pretends to wholly dismiss people’s reasoning capabilities based on their environmental influences in childhood. The idea is that people in general are so intellectually near-sighted that they can’t see past their own upbringing, which, it would follow, would be an equally condemning commentary on atheism (if one was consistent with the charge), but the idea is fairly easy to counter.
In short, this is an example of the "genetic fallacy," trying to invalidate a view by showing how a person came to hold the view. This is a fallacy because the truth of a view is independent of how a person came to believe it. For example, if you had been born in ancient Greece, you would've believed (like Aristotle, an ancient Greek polymath) that the sun goes around the earth. Does that make your current belief that the earth goes around the sun false, or unjustified?
No.
Furthermore, this objection is a double edged sword. For if the atheist had been born in India, he'd likely have been a religious particularist respective of what he had just assigned for said society. So his "lack of belief" in religion is just the result of his being born in contemporary western society and, therefore, is not objectively true.
[Note: I was raised in a mostly secular household all my life, and didn't become a Christian until I was 18. My mother was a nominal Catholic, and my dad might as well have been an atheist (and is now, in fact). I was once an atheist myself, but now I'm a Christian. I'm living proof for why this argument fails, and so are many others within Christendom.]

1. "If God created the universe, who created God?"

This is one of the more peculiar arguments I’ve ever come across. It is an argument usually levied once a theist posits that God is required for the existence of the universe (an absolute Being upon which all other things exist by way of contingency). Some atheists then shift the weight over to the theist saying, “Well then who created God?” This very familiar argument demonstrates a failure to understand what almost any form of classical theism understands by the name “God”. Speaking for Christianity, God is the One who is – i.e., the only One who is the source of His own Being. He is worshipped as the uncreated One who always was and always will be. God is not seen by the Christian as one more being in the total aggregate of all beings in the universe. Rather, He is the source and ground of all being, of all existence.
One way to say it, though it might sound odd at first, is that Christians do not believe that God ever came into existence (Kierkegaard). Think of it in the old ‘Cosmological Argument’ sense: Whatever begins to exist must have a cause. The universe began to exist, therefore it had a cause. But God never began to exist; He always was, i.e., eternal. Asking "Who created God?" is like asking, “What does blue smell like?” Blue is not in the category of things that have a smell, so the question itself is flawed. In the same way, God is not in the category of things that are created or caused. God is uncaused and uncreated—He simply exists.
How do we know this? We know that from nothing, nothing comes. So, if there were ever a time when there was absolutely nothing in existence, then nothing would have ever come into existence. But things do exist. Therefore, since there could never have been absolutely nothing, something had to have always been in existence. That ever-existing thing is what we call God. God is the uncaused Being that caused everything else to come into existence. God is the uncreated Creator who created the universe and everything in it.
The atheist will typically respond with, “who cares what you assert about God, it still does not answer the question.” And this is a great example of the moment when atheists and Christians begin to talk past one another. For the Christian, the question is purely nonsensical, for the atheist it’s pure logical fallacy.
On that note, for those who would cry “Special Pleading” at this claim must defend the alternative, which, strictly speaking, is illogical in a universe made entirely of contingent realities. Without the logical assignment of an absolute upon which all things are contingent, one is left with something like absolute contingency or unconditional conditionality of the physical universe (this assuming one believes in the eternality of nature; if not, if one believes the universe had a beginning, then he must defend an even more fantastic illogical leap, that of “just-thereness” of the universe, which differs very little from pure magic). But the belief that God alone is eternal in His being is not special pleading to begin with for the simple fact that the subject matter is something truly unique, justifiably “special”. If one cannot claim that at least one thing is Absolute, or “Necessary” in a universe of conditionality, then reality as we know it is irrational.
Better to be wrongly accused of a logical fallacy then rightly accused of a logical absurdity.
Of course, at this point, the atheist will then ask, "What was God doing before creation?"
Atheists are missing the fact that there was no time before God created. Time is actually a created entity. The first verse of the Bible reads: “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Gen. 1:1). A study of this verse reveals that God created time, space, and matter on the first day of Creation Week. No one of these can have a meaningful existence without the others. God created the space-mass-time universe. Space and matter must exist in time, and time requires space and matter. Time is only meaningful if physical entities exist and events transpire during time.
“In the beginning...” is when time began! There was no time before time was created! Remember, God is spaceless, timeless, immaterial, and uncaused.
I like to explain it this way. There was no “before” God created. There was not even “nothing”. There was God existing in eternity.
This is something humans, as finite created beings, can never really understand. That’s why the Bible makes it clear there is always a “faith” aspect to our understanding of God. Now, Biblical faith is not against reason, but such things go beyond our understanding (Pro. 3:5-6 cf. Luke 1:37).

1. "God is not all-powerful if there is something He cannot do. God cannot lie, therefore God is not all-powerful."

This argument would be fantastic—devastating maybe—if God was more of the ancient Greek god persuasion, where the gods themselves were subject to fate and limited to their specific roles in the cosmos. The orthodox doctrine of God is much different. Christians view God’s ontology as subject to His perfect free-will. Why is He good? Because He wills to be good. Why does He not lie? Because He wills to be honest. Why does God exist as Trinity? Because He wills it. He could just as easily will to not exist. And yes, He could just as easily will to lie. The fact that He doesn’t is no commentary on whether He could.
[Note: Due to the immense amount of discussion that this point usually raises, one clarifying statement is worth noting. An argument based on strict logical word games can render the idea ‘all-powerful,’ or ‘omnipotent’ self-defeating. When one considers the juvenile question, “Can God create a rock so heavy that He can’t lift it?” this point becomes clear. But there is a serious error at work here if one interprets the Christian belief in an “almighty God” with this understanding of omnipotent. Christianity’s claim that God is almighty simply means that all power and authority are God’s. If the nuance escaped you, please read the last sentence again. It’s very important. Christians do not mean by all-powerful that God can do the logically absurd, such as make a two sided triangle, count how many miles are in purple, or defeat the flying spaghetti monster in a rock-paper-scissors death match. But, for giggles let’s answer the question: can God create a rock so heavy that He can’t lift it? No. There you have it. If you’re in jr. high school you may now slap yourself a high-five for defeating the “all-powerful god” that Christianity never claimed to believe in. Of course, on the other hand, if we say that God can do the logically impossible, then there's no problem there either because then God could create a stone too heavy for Him to lift, and then He can lift it! And if the atheist says, "Well that's logically contradictory," then alright, God can do the logically impossible. Either way, the question itself is flawed to begin with and nothing more than bar banter at best.]

1. "Why doesn't God speak to people anymore like He did in the Old Testament?"

The long answer to this question is given here. The short answer is that God has already spoken. His words were faithfully written down, and they have been miraculously kept for us through the ages. The Bible is finished. God’s progressive revelation is done (Rev. 22:18). Now we have the completed canon of Scripture, and we need no further miracles to “validate” the Bible, which has already been validated (and whom the inner witness of the Holy Spirit testifies to believers is true; 1 John 5:9-13). In God’s perfect Word is everything we need “for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:16). The Bible is perfectly able to make us “wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim. 3:15). It is a “more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed” (2 Pet. 1:19).
[Note: For my Christian readers, I am not a cessationist. I clarify my views of miracles (which I still believe in) and their function within the Church and the world in the aforementioned link.]

1. "The God of the Bible is evil. A God who allows so much suffering and death can be nothing but evil."

I devoted a separate post addressing this oft raised accusation, but let me deal here with the problem inherent in the criticism itself.
The argument takes as its presupposition that good and evil are real; that there is an ultimate standard of good and evil that supersedes mere fanciful ‘ideas’ about what is good and evil at a given time in our ethical evolution, as it were. If there is not a real existence—an ontological reality—of good and evil, then the charge that God is evil because of this or that is really to say nothing more than, “I personally don’t like what I see in the world and therefore a good God cannot exist.” I like what C.S. Lewis said on a similar matter: “There is no sense in talking of ‘becoming better’ if better means simply ‘what we are becoming’—it is like congratulating yourself on reaching your destination and defining destination as ‘the place you have reached.’”
What is tricky for the atheist in these sorts of debates is to steer clear of words loaded with religious overtones. It’s weird for someone who does not believe in ultimate good and evil to condemn God as evil because He did not achieve their personal vision of good. So, the initial criticism seems sound (at first), but it is subversive to the atheist’s staging ground in the end. If one is going to accept good and evil as realities, he is not in a position to fully reject God. Instead, he is more in a position to wrestle with the idea that God is good.

"Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?"-Romans 9:20
"Shall mortal man be more just than God? shall a man be more pure than his maker?"-Job 4:17
"Thinkest thou this to be right, that thou saidst, My righteousness is more than God's?"-Job 35:2

Of course, the atheist will then try to argue that the Biblical world view is incoherent and inconsistent within its own self, due to the belief that the Christian God is omnibenevolent and yet does (and/or commands) seemingly horrifying things throughout the Old Testament. So its a problem for the Christian trying to justify the acts of his own God, rather than a problem for the atheist (who believes in no god, and no objective moral values to begin with). However, I deal with this kind of charge here as well.

James Hibberd, April 2019, https://ew.com/tv/2019/04/09/game-of-thrones-season-8-showrunners-interview/ :

• Question: "With serialized shows, there is so much pressure on the finale. People’s opinion of the last episode can color how they feel about the whole series. How important is it to you that the final episode sticks the landing?"
  
• Weiss: "We want people to love it. It matters a lot to us. We’ve spent 11 years doing this. [...]"
  
• Benioff: "From the beginning, we’ve talked about how the show would end. A good story isn’t a good story if you have a bad ending. [...]"
  

Winter is Coming for House Stark

Casey Bloys (HBO’s programming president), September 2017, https://www.insider.com/game-of-thrones-hbo-filming-multiple-endings-leaks-spoilers-2017-9 : "I know 'Game of Thrones,' the ending, they're going to shoot multiple versions so that nobody really knows what happens. You have to do that on a long show. Because when you're shooting something, people know. So they're going to shoot multiple versions so that there's no real definitive answer until the end."
February 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86VjgW1wDfI&t=62s (1:02 - 1:33) :

• Maisie Williams (Arya): “I heard this and I thought, ‘I don’t think we got the budget to shoot multiple endings.”
  
• Jimmy Kimmel: Casey Bloys made that statement.
  
• “But as we know, sometimes presidents don’t always tell the truth,” Williams quipped.
  

Maisie had a point. Why waste money shooting fake scenes that you are never going to air? Especially when you didn't even plan to include those in the Season 1-8 DVD Collectors Edition.
November 2019, Kristofer Hivju (Tormund), https://winteriscoming.net/2019/11/19/game-of-thrones-star-alternative-ending-kristofer-hivju-isaac-hempstead-wright/, reigniting the topic: “Well, we shot an alternative ending. That was mostly for fun but I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you about that.”
Spolier alert, he wasn't. Hence HBO sending their Lord Commander to the rescue:
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister), December 2019, https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/nikolaj-costerwaldau-game-of-thrones-ending-amazing-a4317836.html : “There was never an alternative ending.”
And Maisie Williams, February 2020, https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/12/maisie-williams-shuts-down-game-of-thrones-season-8-alternate-endings-rumours-12230190/ : "We didn’t [film an alternate ending]. It costs so much money and the schedule was way too tight. We were spending all the money on dragons."
Maisie & Nikolaj were right. There were never any alternative endings to Game of Thrones, there was only one ending: the real ending. The one that airs this Spring, on HBO Max.
HBO, 2020 promo, https://www.instagram.com/p/B6HaNfMnFs (0:34 - 0:37): right before "Coming in 2020," Drogon breathes fire with the saying "It's only just begun."

The Table Read

Lena Headey, February 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMGNoug7QKw&t=1s (0:00 to 0:18): "We had a giant read-through with the cast and […] I think pretty much everybody cried at one point."
Francesca Orsi (VP of Drama), March 2018, https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/game-thrones-spin-offs-will-be-big-budget-gate-1094135 : “[The table read of the last few episodes with the show's cast] was a really powerful moment in our lives and our career. None of the cast had received the scripts prior, and one by one they started to fall down to their deaths. By the end, the last few words on the final script, the tears just started falling down. Then there was applause that lasted 15 minutes.”
Yet, in the 2019 Last Watch documentary, when Bryan Cogman said "End of Game of Thrones," we didn't see any thunder of applause: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6qSAncsuO8&t=266s (4:26 - 4:37). The 7 second clapping sequence was tedious at best. And only Kit, who hadn't read the scripts, was truly emotional. Emilia did shed a little tear during the read-through, but aside from a few members, the rest of the cast didn't seem particularly phased.
Francesca also declared: “[...] none of the cast had received the scripts prior;" but in November 2018, James Hibberd reported, https://ew.com/tv/2018/11/01/game-of-thrones-final-season-ew-cover-story/ : Kit Harington (Jon) and Liam Cunningham (Davos) were the only cast members who did not read the scripts ahead of the table read.
So were Lena and Francesca lying and exaggerating for marketing purposes? Or could it be there was another set of scripts that were presented during the read-through? One that would see both cast and crew applaud for 15 minutes after reading the last few episodes.
If this was the case, Headey and Orsi's quotes would turn out to be true word per word.
We thought that Francesca lied because we knew most of the cast had read the scripts ahead of time. But Francesca wasn't lying. The scripts they hadn't read weren't season 8 scripts, they were season 9's. And just like she said, one by one, they fell down to their characters' death and burst into tears.
Pilou Asbæk, January 2020, https://ew.com/sag-awards/2020/01/19/euron-greyjoy-pilou-asbaek-game-of-thrones-ending/ :
"When we had the read-through in Belfast two and a half years ago, we ended up doing a standing ovation for 15-20 minutes. It was a perfect ending.”
“[...] I was a big fan of the show before I started it. Then I became a part of it. And if it had ended in that way, I would have been angry as well [...]."
Luckily for Pilou, he didn't have to be angry because he knew the show wouldn't end the way season 8 left it.
(Credit to Torpedo46 for suggesting the multiple episode theory back in May 2019)

The Biggest Season Ever

April 2019, https://ew.com/tv/2019/04/09/game-of-thrones-season-8-showrunners-interview/ :

• James Hibberd: "You told me back when filming season 3 that you were thinking of doing the final season as three movies because you couldn’t imagine pulling off what you and George had in mind on a television budget. Do you feel like you’ve been able to do what you envisioned years ago?"
  
• Weiss: "Yes. To their credit, [HBO] put their money where their mouths are — literally stuffed their mouth full of million-dollar bills which don’t exist anymore. They said, 'We’ll give you the resources to make this what it needs to be, and if what it needs to be is a summer tentpole-size spectacle in places, then that’s what it will be'.”
  

Dan and Dave have said on multiple occasions that they were worried about the ending growing out of proportion for a TV budget. Yet, the reality is season 8 only cost $90M to produce: https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/21/much-game-thrones-season-cost-make-9622963/. While certainly high, this figure is still 10% less than season 6 ($100M), and a mere 12.5% increase over seasons 4 & 5 ($80M each).
So what was there to worry about? Were Dan & Dave that scared to ask for a 10% budget cut for season 8?
As always, the devil is in the details; March 2019, Business Insider, https://www.businessinsider.com/game-of-thrones-season-8-90-million-budget-6-episodes-2019-1 : "Now we've gone from $6 million an episode back in that first season to almost more than double that with $50 million for these final six episodes."
Let us rephrase. In an article entitled: "'Game of Thrones' season 8 has a $90 million budget [...];" opening with: "they're spending an average of $15 million per episode;" Business Insider reported that the budget for the final 6 episodes of the series would be around $50M. The information was shared twice in the column: once by the interviewee, then a second time by the interviewer.
Which means there were only two possible explanations: either D&D are delusional Emmy winning writers worried about asking HBO for a pay cut, and neither Senior Reporter Kim Renfro nor the HBO representative paid any attention to what they said and wrote in an interview that appears at the top of Google searches for 'GoT season 8 budget'; or, these people were telling the truth.
Season 8 really had a $90M budget, but there was another season being shot in 2018: season 9. And it is these final 6 episodes that required a total of $50M (~ $8.5M per episode), not the 6 episodes from season 8.
This would explain why the showrunners were so worried about funding their ending. What they needed wasn't $90M, they were asking for $140M at once!
Hence Dan saying "[HBO] put their money where their mouths are — literally stuffed their mouth full of million-dollar bills."
GRRM, January 2020, https://amp.welt.de/kultuvideo205089548/Exklusiv-Interview-George-R-R-Martin-im-Gespraech-mit-WELT-Autor-Martin-Scholz.html & https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/erd6i0/spoiler_extended_people_know_an_ending_but_not/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share : "[...] we actually considered this option: David Benioff and Dan Weiss, the makers behind the TV show, wanted to finish the saga with three big movies after season 7. 'Game of Thrones' was supposed to end in cinema. It was seriously discussed four to five years ago."
Four to five years ago (= end of 2014/2015), the show was supposed to end in 7 seasons (not 8). Which means even at that time, George and D&D had planned more content for this series in the form of additional films that would close this story.
Then, HBO convinced the showrunners to extend the show and split season 7 into two seasons (7 and 8). Now, Martin might have revealed that there was always going to be more GoT after season 7 (therefore, after season 8).
George also reiterated his support for the show, claiming GoT was a very faithful adaptation to his books: "[...] Take The Little Mermaid. We know her from the fairy tale of the same name by Hans Christian Andersen and from the Disney film. Which one is the real mermaid? Well, mermaids don't exist. You can choose the version you like best. That goes for any story adapted for cinema or television. In this process, change is inevitable. Even if the adaptation is as faithful to the literary original as it was in 'Game Of Thrones'."

Acting or Real?

Once we understand this, every piece of information falls into place, every actor interview goes from over-exaggeration to genuine:
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, April 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5prr_YVSnc&t=136s (2:16 - 2:30) : "When we read the final 6 scripts, I just thought: 'Wow, they've done an amazing job, they've actually [...] wrapped it up'."
It wasn't that Nikolaj was particularly easy to dazzle or that season 8 somehow subverted his expectations; it was the final 6 scripts that left this impression on him, the ones from season 9.
Kit Harrington (Jon Snow), January 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TeIucK7yj8&t=249s (4:09 - 4:21): "I'm so excited for people to see [the ending]. I think it’s going to be extraordinary, hopefully it’ll change TV again like it did originally, and break boundaries. I think it might."
Then, February 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=751ae5QcCbQ (2:50 - 3:10):

• PopBuzz: "If you could describe the season finale of Game of Thrones (meaning season 8's finale) in one word, how would you describe it?"
  
• Kit Harrington: "Disappointing."
  

A feeling shared by many people: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/game_of_thrones/s08, https://www.imdb.com/list/ls042685733/, https://www.businessinsider.fus/game-of-thrones-creators-bad-writers-on-google-search-2019-5.
While Kit was right in saying the season 8 finale would be unimpressive (at first), he still thought the real ending would be extraordinary. And just like he said, season 9 would push the boundaries of what we thought possible.
Bryan Cogman, November 2018, https://ew.com/tv/2018/11/01/game-of-thrones-season-8-story/ : “It’s an incredibly emotional, haunting, bittersweet final season, and I think it honors very much what George set out to do — which is flipping this kind of story on its head.”
"Emotional, haunting, and bittersweet:" feelings that we had yet to experience in season 8, let alone flipping this kind of story on its head. In fact, season 8 did the exact opposite, embracing every trop of the fantasy genre along the way, as well as every TV series' cliches.
Maisie Williams, May 2019, https://ew.com/tv/2019/05/21/maisie-williams-game-thrones-final-season-regret/ : “It’s not a Game of Thrones ending for Arya, it’s a happy ending.”
Liam Cunningham (Davos), October 2019, https://watchersonthewall.com/maisie-williams-isaac-hempstead-wright-liam-cunningham-michele-clapton/ : “As regard to the end, [...] I think we had the most happy ending that we could possibly have. The Starks are in good shape. The Lannisters are gone. Daenerys –the Targaryens– finished. The Small Council at the end is mostly good people; it’s Brienne, Samwell Tarly, Davos, Bran, Tyrion. It’s a pretty happy ending for something that’d had genocides up to that point.”
Ramsay Bolton, s03e06: "If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention."
Liam tried to warn us: be wary of happy endings in Game of Thrones.
Cunningham, January 2019, https://www.todayfm.com/podcasts/today-fm/liam-cunningham-knows-exactly-how-game-of-thrones-ends : "You can’t tie this story up with a bow, it’s not that kind of story… the ending will be bittersweet, so prepare for bittersweet, whatever that means."
Peter Dinklage (Tyrion), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5prr_YVSnc&t=215s (3:35 - 3:53): "There are no better writers in television than Dan Weiss & David Benioff. They've ended [the show] brilliantly, better than I could have imagined. People are in for it."
Peter Dinklage (Tyrion):"[The ending] brings everybody into it. And what we thought. And it questions everything. Which I love. It really makes you question yourself. [...] And not in any sort of snarky way. In a beautiful way." - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7febtALCX7k&t=92s (1:32 - 1:53).
And he added, https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/game-of-thrones/game-of-thrones-season-8-ending-finale-tyrion-lannister-peter-dinklage-hbo-a8573936.html : “I think it’s going to be the best season of television anyone has ever seen. It takes you to a place that you never saw coming [...],"
Dinklage wasn't kidding. Season 9, the last season of Game of Thrones, takes you to a place you never saw coming. And it really makes you question how quick we can be to jump into easy conclusions.
Richard Plepler, former CEO of HBO, January 2019, https://variety.com/2019/tv/news/game-of-thrones-season-8-episodes-like-movies-1203101806/ :
“[I have] seen rough cuts of all six episodes of the final season of Game of Thrones. It’s a spectacle. The guys have done six movies. The reaction I had while watching them was, ‘I’m watching a movie.’ They knew the bar was high. They’ve exceeded the bar. I’ve watched them twice without any CGI and I’m in awe. Everybody’s in for an extraordinary treat of storytelling and of magical, magical production.”
Richard didn't lie. The final season of Game of Thrones would be a spectacle for the ages.
Aidan Gillen (Littlefinger), February 2019, https://www.irishecho.com/2019/02/gillan-project-recalls-50s-uneasiness/ : “I’ll be watching [the show] the same way that everybody else will be watching it — weekly — except for that week they don’t show it and I’ll be saying, ‘Why are they taking a break halfway through the season?'”
Even Aidan added fuel to the fire by letting the audience know there were 6 more episodes to come. But being the devil that he is, Baelish baited us into thinking these would air one week after s08e06, in the form of a season 8 - part 2. Which never made any sense, given how long post-production would take for 12 episodes. Hence part 9 of this series of posts, introducing the possibility of a s08e07 on June 2nd (see "The Night King's Last Dream – Season 8 Episode 6," https://redd.it/bqw2aq).
S01e07, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAOsC-Fa6Yo&t=276s (4:36 - 4:43): "I did warn you not to trust me." - Littlefinger
You'd think we would have learned after seeing Ned Stark being betrayed by the devil. Still, there was some truth to Aidan's words.

An Impossible Schedule

Now, you understand why the crew complained so much about the schedule:
May 2019, The Last Watch, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gddTawHoNFc&t=268s (4:28 - 5:09):

• Interviewer: "Is this the hardest season ever?"
  
• Crew: "By a long shot. First, schedule is impossible. The season is very big, it's written very big. But it's all this business of trying to do film finishes on a TV schedule, and on a TV deadline. And I think this season, we've certainly found the limits of what's able to be achieved. And insofar as I think now everybody realizes Game of Thrones has to finish because it just cannot get any bigger. You know, there are a lot of fried nerves walking around, myself being one of them [...]"
  

September 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T68xtQUi8lM&t=157s (2:37 – 2:55), Weiss: ”Thank you to the hardest working crew in the show - crews in show business. [...] You are amazing, all of you, and it's amazing that all of you are still alive.”
No wonder the cast and crew were impossibly drained, they had 2 seasons to shoot at once, in less than a year.
On its own, season 8 took over 10 months to film: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/game-of-thrones-season-8-filming-cast-belfast-northern-ireland-a8016546.html; http://fortune.com/2018/07/09/game-of-thrones-season-8-filming-ends/; with actors claiming they shot for 11 to 12 months, twice as much as any other season (hence 2 seasons).
But while s08e03 & s08e05 were undeniably exhausting to make, without season 9, there was no reason for the cast to be under such pressure. If we looked at season 8, we had run-times of: 54 mins + 58 mins + 4 X ~80 mins = 432 min = 7 hours and 12 mins. That is, 2 hours 50 mins less than the average season of GoT (excluding season 7). And according to the actors, they had twice as much time to record this shortened season. So what was all the fuss about?
April 2018, https://wikiofthrones.com/15490/game-of-thrones-season-8-filming-begins-dragonpit-italica/ : "[...] The filming on the Dragonpit set located near Seville has begun. [...] [it] is expected to go on here from April 23rd, to May 19th. [...] and the stars are supposed to join the filming by May 3rd."
Which meant the cast had 16 days of filming to wrap up the Tyrion trial scenes for s08e06.
Yet on May 2019, Isaac Hempstead Wright (Bran) declared, https://www.makinggameofthrones.com/production-diary/season-8-episode-6-finale-isaac-hempstead-wright-bran-interview : "The dragonpit speech scene itself was five days of filming."
So, if the Tyrion scenes took 5 days to shoot, what were they doing for the next 11 days?
They were filming another Tyrion trial, one that was long overdue for the witty Lannister: his final trial. These last scenes, airing in season 9, would see Tyrion answer for the crimes of freeing both of his siblings (Jaime in s08e04, and Cersei in season 9 [see "Gold Lion" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0XWeyOZxI8; & "Listen to the Lion" - Van Morrison, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWX-4eDxdDs; from D&D's endgame playlist]).
Everything we thought we knew from season 8 was only half of what was being filmed in 2018.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T68xtQUi8lM&t=157s (2:37 – 2:55), Weiss: ”Thank you to the hardest working crew in the show - crews in show business. The Dragons who shot for 70 nights straight in freezing Belfast rain, the Wolves who shot all around the world. You are amazing, all of you, and it's amazing that all of you are still alive.”
Pay attention to what Dan said during his speech: “The Dragons […] shot for 70 nights straight […].”
Strange, since we knew from many sources that s08e03, "The Long Night," only took 55 consecutive nights to shoot: https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/game-of-thrones-everybody-hated-filming-the-long-night.html/. So where were those 15 days of extra content? What were they needed for?
I say those scenes were about the Night King waking up from his s08e06 Dream of Spring, and making his comeback in Winterfell (see part 9, https://redd.it/bqw2aq, "The Night King's Last Dream;" and part 12, https://redd.it/ef4xgd, "Old Kingsroad").

The Titanic Hangar

James Hibberd, November 2018, https://ew.com/tv/2018/11/01/game-of-thrones-final-season-ew-cover-story/ :

• "Arriving at the studio gate [in Belfast], I’m halted by a guard [...]. Along with an HBO escort, I walk inside an enormous hangar that’s so large it’s where the RMS Titanic was painted."
  
• "What’s being filmed here is episode 6, the series finale. [...] I look around at a meticulously constructed set that I’ve never seen on the show before. Several actors are performing, and I’m stunned: there are characters in the finale that I did not expect. I gradually begin to piece together what has happened in Westeros over the previous five episodes and try not to look like I’m freaking out."
  
• "There is absolutely nothing more that can be said about that scene at this time."
  

According to the journalist, a scene from the series finale was being shot in a meticulously constructed set that he had never seen before, one involving characters that he did not expect.
However, after watching s08e06, reading the scripts and going through every deleted scene from season 8, it was safe to assume such a sequence was never meant for the season 8 finale.
When we thought of meticulously constructed sets in episode 6, there were only two that came to mind: the streets of King's Landing, i.e. a miniaturized version of Dubrovnik; and the gigantic set of Winterfell. Both located outside the Titanic hangar. Which meant that scene couldn't have involved any of those areas.
Besides, neither Winterfell nor King's Landing revealed any surprising character. The only time a casual viewer saw characters he would not have expected in s08e06 was during the Dragonpit sequence: the one including Lord Yohn Royce, Lord Robin Arryn, and the unnamed Prince of Dorne. And since the Dragonpit was located in Spain, it couldn't have been this scene either (because the RMS Titanic hangar is in Belfast).
So did our journalist, a former writer for Amnesty International Magazine, lie? Or was there really a scene being filmed for episode 6, the series finale?
One answer that would tie things together, without discrediting Hibberd, would be for James to have witnessed a scene from s09e06, the series finale. One involving characters so unexpected that anyone would have been stunned: see part 12, https://redd.it/ef4xgd, "And Then Some More."

Comic Con 2019

While Dan & Dave didn't make an appearance at Comic Con 2019, James Hibberd and the cast still left some clues.
The few people attending were very relaxed/light, not what you'd expect from a final farewell from the biggest show on television. The host, Hibberd, poked fun at plot holes in season 8 episode 6: pointing out how Arya's ending didn't make sense since Bran could simply tell her what was West of Westeros; questioning why Grey Worm wouldn't kill Jon; and why Snow didn't simply tell everyone Drogon killed Dany. The funniest part was the actors didn't really answer those questions. Which suggested: "It was bad writing. What else can we say?"
Also, pretty much every main character was missing from the panel, so you could tell something was wrong. What kind of serious show attending Comic Con wouldn't take a single question from fans? Certainly not one that had a prequel in development and 3 other potential successor shows in the pipeline.
However, the most noticeable absentees were Dan & Dave, dropping out 2 days before the event: https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-game-of-thrones-creators-just-changed-their-mind-ab-1836466574. Most people assumed this was a cop-out. But if you read the article, it was said the pair was forced to remove themselves from the panel due to “production and scheduling conflicts.”
Now that was strange. Last time we had checked, season 8 was over and D&D were hunting for a new development deal, https://winteriscoming.net/2019/07/26/david-benioff-d-b-weiss-new-deal-decision/#, and they certainly weren't working on Star Wars either (https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/29/game-of-thrones-david-benioff-db-weiss-exit-star-wars-trilogy.html).
So why "production conflicts?" Were they simply lying? Or could it be they were busy producing another set of episodes?
Then came the panel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM03N0Jlxno&t=233s (3:53 - 4:00), James Hibberd: "Perhaps the biggest question on the show was: who would end up on the Iron Throne? And the closest answer to that question ended up being Bran Stark."
The host repeated this same sentence in the EW rehearsal prior to Comic Con, which drew smiles and laughs from the cast: see first video on this article, https://ew.com/tv/2019/07/24/lost-game-of-thrones-ending/ (1:07 - 1:20).
The "closest answer" to who would end up on the Iron Throne was Bran. Which meant Bran wasn't the real answer, only the closest. Someone else was supposed to sit on that throne by the end of this series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PEsR1fdGTA (0:01 - 0:26):

• Varys: "When you imagine yourself up there, how do you look? Does the crown fit? Do all the lords and ladies simper and bow, the ones who sneered at you for years?"
  
• Petyr Baelish: "It's hard for them to simper and bow without heads."
  
• Varys: "A man with great ambition and no morals... I wouldn't bet against you."
  

Neither would we (see "A Martinesque Ending," https://redd.it/8i9lzc).
So was it simply a mistake? Or was this a hint carefully planted by the journalist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM03N0Jlxno&t=279s, Isaac Hempstead Wright (4:39 - 4:54): "I can't imagine [King Bran's] government is a barrel of laughs. It's probably quite serious.[...] To all intents and purposes, Westeros is now a surveillance state, with Bran aware of everything everyone is doing."
And https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1152338065966292992/pu/vid/640x360/IEcJncZVL4aC5YAY.mp4?tag=10 (0:34 - 0:45): "I don't really think [Bran] has got too many ideas. He just kind of sits there and listens to what everyone else says and... just chills out."
There you have it. In case there were any doubts, Isaac is repeatedly letting you know Bran is a terrible King. And HBO, the actors, the publicists, the writers, everyone involved were completely fine with actors bashing the ending.
Now, what is one of the main reasons Martin started writing A Song of Ice and Fire? To respond to Tolkien presenting Aragorn as a good King (see "It would be a Sin to Kill a Mockingbird," https://redd.it/8do7v7).
So we have: Isaac telling us Bran is a terrible King; Martin profusely praising D&D for their faithful adaptation of his novel series; and Martin starting ASOIAF to let Tolkien's readers know what a good king should be like.
Guess one answer that doesn't involve all of these parties being liars? Having another season that would present the real ending.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM03N0Jlxno&t=1380s (23:00 - 24:52): "[...] I think it's quite cool that [the ending] is left slightly ambiguous [...] I think that's one of the cleverest things about the ending: that it doesn't conclude everything very neatly. You don't have these sort of set endings and you can sit back and go: 'right, well this happened to them, this happened to them.' It's left totally open. The Kingdom is in total disarray. [...] Bran is King. They are storylines that could warrant their own spin-offs, but they're left... They're not finished. There's no full stop. [...] It's almost as if the world of GoT exists still, somewhere in the ether. [...]”
Remember what Martin, the showrunners and the actors said before the start of season 8? That the end of GoT & ASOIAF wouldn't be an open ending. And what was Isaac confirming at Comic Con 2019? That s08e06 was an open ending.
So once again, we were left with two choices: either these people were all lying; or s08e06 wasn't the end of GoT, only a dream of spring.
Notice how no one ever claims Martin said Bran would be 'King of the 7 Kingdoms,' only that he would be 'King:'

• Isaac Hempstead Wright, May 2019, https://www.makinggameofthrones.com/production-diary/season-8-episode-6-finale-isaac-hempstead-wright-bran-interview : "[Creators] David [Benioff] and Dan [Weiss] told me there were two things [author] George R.R. Martin had planned for Bran, and that was the Hodor revelation, and that he would be king. So that’s pretty special to be directly involved in something that is part of George’s vision. It was a really nice way to wrap it up."
  
• Benioff, Emmys 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=230s (3:50 - 4:00): "It was always gonna be Bran as the King at the end."
  

Bran was always going to be King at the end, but never King of the 7 Kingdoms. He would become the King of the Night, i.e. the unbeatable Night King (see "The White Walkers: An unheard voice," https://redd.it/89plsa).
Liam Cunningham (Davos), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM03N0Jlxno&t=2597s (43:17 - 44:22):
“It was a very strange thing. There’s very few jobs that you go onto where they’re hands deep, where everybody on the set is wonderful at their jobs. We have these beautiful words that we were handed by George, David and Dan and you’re working with these incredibly proficient and precise crews."
"There was a kind of magical sense off it. It’s very, very rare that something comes along that feels almost gorgeous and every day it was just a pleasure to go to work."
“I will miss the elegance of it and working with people at the absolute top of their game [...]”

A Good Story isn't a good story if you have a bad ending

GRRM, September 2019, https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/9901145/george-rr-martin-lord-of-the-rings-amazon :
Drawing attention to the LOTR plot holes, Martin told The Sun: "It's one of the great books of the 20th century, but that doesn't mean that I think it's perfect, I keep wanting to argue with Professor Tolkien through the years about certain aspects of it. He did what he wanted to do very brilliantly but… I look at the end and it says Aragorn is the king and he says, 'And Aragorn ruled wisely and well for 100 years'."
He continued:
"It's easy to write that sentence, but I want to know what was his tax policy, and what did he do when famine struck the land? And what did he do with all those Orcs?"
"A lot of Orcs left over. They weren’t all killed, they ran away into the mountains. Did Aragorn carry out a policy of systematic Orc genocide? Did he send his knights out into the hills to kill all the Orcs? Even the little baby Orcs?"
"Or was there Orc rehabilitation going on. Trying to teach the Orcs to be good citizens. [...]"
That's a good point George.
Now let's look at the ending Dan & Dave provided, which Martin has praised profusely (see "And Ending," http://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/2019/05/20/an-ending/). Do we have any idea what Bran's tax policy would be? How would he do when famine struck the land? Did he show any interest in politics throughout the series?
There is no way to tell since Bran never expressed any interest in politics. The latest political maneuver we were shown was Bran letting half(?) the population of King's Landing getting roasted by Dany so that he could be crowned King. If s08e06 was the ending, even Aragorn committing systemic Orc genocide would barely make him worse than Bran. And according to Isaac Hempstead Wright, the young King had no idea what he was doing: "Bran just sits around and listens to other people's ideas and propositions."
In an interview given to Japanese media, D&D said, https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-game-of-thrones-showrunners-have-finally-broken-the-1837796497 : “[...] In Persian rugs, it’s tradition that you make a little mistake when making the rug, because only God can do anything perfect,” Benioff joked.
Even if Dave was joking, the implication was that season 8, although not perfect, is outstandingly good TV & good writing.
At this point, you could brush this quote off by thinking the showrunners were delusional and would only see coffee cups and episode 3's lighting issues as valid criticism.
But listen to the last extensive interview they gave before season 8, https://ew.com/tv/2019/04/09/game-of-thrones-season-8-showrunners-interview/ :
Hibberd: "With serialized shows, there is so much pressure on the finale. People’s opinion of the last episode can color how they feel about the whole series. How important is it to you that the final episode sticks the landing?"
WEISS: "We want people to love it. It matters a lot to us. We’ve spent 11 years doing this. [...]"
BENIOFF: "From the beginning, we’ve talked about how the show would end. A good story isn’t a good story if you have a bad ending. Of course we worry. [...]"
Q. "What is the scene you’re most proud of in the whole series?"
WEISS: “[...] I hope it will be a scene in this season. It’s nice to go out on your strongest notes."
So, getting the ending right matters a lot to the showrunners. A good story isn't a good story if you have a bad ending. And they hope to end on their strongest note. All very reasonable thoughts.
Then, in the same interview, when asked:
Q. "When the final episode airs, do you have any specific plans for what you’ll be doing?"
WEISS: "We’ll be in an undisclosed location, turning off our phones and opening various bottles."
Q. "Won’t you be a little curious? I know you’re not big on social media, but you won’t be tempted at all to look at Twitter?"
WEISS: "At some point, if and when it’s safe to come out again, somebody like [HBO’s GoT publicist Mara Mikialian] will give us a breakdown of what was out there without us having to actually experience it."
BENIOFF: "I plan to be very drunk and very far from the internet."
See the contradiction? Most of the interview was Dan & Dave emphasizing how important it is to have a good ending and them anticipating the final season to be their Persian rug. But when talking about s08e06, they were always aware people wouldn't like it. Hence them hiding from interviews and from the Internet.
So where was this supposed ending they were so proud of? And what was this scene that had potential to outclass Battle of the Bastards?
I say it had yet to air, along with season 9.

Emmy Awards 2019

In the words of Peter Dinklage (Tyrion): "This is all a blur," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=263s (4:23 - 4:37).
Game of Thrones could never end without Martin appearing in at least one shot of the TV adaption of his magnum opus. Especially when he had had time to participate in every other convention, including the Emmys.
It is my belief that the reason Benioff and Weiss were so confortable being evasive with the media was because the show wasn’t over. This is why actors were willing to protect their show runners at the 2019 Emmys, hiding them from the spotlight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=80s (1:20 - 1:45), look at Dan's movements in the background. This is why the crew gladly answered controversies directed at the writers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=437s (7:17 - 8:14), Kit stepping up at 7:17. And this is why everyone had been light and dismissive when it came to criticism, even months later. Always giving the same answer to anyone who would ask: "You are disappointed because the show is over and you wish it went on a little longer."

• Kristian Nairn (Hodor), https://www.psychobunny.com/pages/kristian-nairn-men-of-mischief: “I don’t think the criticism [season 8] received was deserved, [...]. My only qualm was that I felt that it could’ve been a little longer [...]."
  
• Emilia Clarke (Daenerys), October 2019, https://www.cnet.com/news/emilia-clarke-opens-up-about-the-game-of-thrones-ending/: "[...] you're sad that the show is done and you're sad because you enjoyed watching it, [...]"
  
• Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2476840/the-game-of-thrones-cast-finally-addressed-the-ending-blowback: "[...] Obviously it comes to an end, it’s gonna piss you off no matter what. Because it’s the end."
  

Which was a nice way of hinting that there would be more Game of Thrones.
Now listen to what Weiss had to say about the legacy of their program: "[...] That's not really up for us to decide what people feel about [the show]. We hope that they watch it and like it in the future and we hope it holds up. [...] It's so gratifying to have reached this many people and we hope that people that are a little bit too young to be watching it now will grow up and learn about [...] it and watch it as well;" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=130s (2:10 - 2:48).
Notice how Dan emphasized the future. He hopes the whole story holds up in the future. Because as of now, the series isn't complete, therefore it doesn't hold up.
When asked about controversy, after a moment of hesitation, Harington stepped forward, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A95Y6qebrCo&t=437s (7:17 - 8:14):

• “I’ll take this one… What was it? Controversy. I still haven’t seen the show. That’s how I dealt with that controversy. I haven’t seen the final season [Everyone laughs]. But I know what it took to shoot it. And it was — it was hard and everyone put all of their love and effort into it."
  
• "And controversy, I think for us — we knew what we were doing was right story-wise and we knew that it was right for the characters because we lived with them for 10 years. And I think that kind of set — controversy for us didn’t really affect us. [...]”
  

Kit was letting us know that story-wise, the series of events we witnessed in season 8 made sense. But the truth is no matter how hard you spin it, season 8 doesn’t make sense on its own. There were too many plot-holes and too many inconsistencies, these could not be explained solely by what we saw on screen if this was the end.
And here is the acceptance speech from which the “over” quote was derived:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T68xtQUi8lM&t=157s (2:37 – 2:55), Weiss: ”Thank you to the hardest working crew in the show - crews in show business. The Dragons who shot for 70 nights straight in freezing Belfast rain, the Wolves who shot all around the world. You are amazing, all of you, and it's amazing that all of you are still alive.”
  
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T68xtQUi8lM&t=178s (2:58 – 3:10), Benioff: ”These last ten years have been the best years of our lives. And for everyone who worked with us on it, I can't believe we finished it. I can't believe we did it. We did it all together, and it's over. And we shall never see her like again.”
  

In this sentence, Benioff's words could have been referring to the show being over. But it could also have been referring to filming, production and post-production being finally over, 5 months after s08e06 first aired (which wasn’t the case in August, at Comic-Con 2019).
(End of Part 13; Part 14 here: https://redd.it/eizxvk)

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5-letter words

Found 158390 5-letter words for Scrabble, Words With Friends, WordHub, and Crosswords. Browse this comprehensive list of five-letter words to find your best possible play! Or use our Unscramble word solver.

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• about
• above
• abuse
• actor
• acute
• admit
• adopt
• adult
• after
• again
• agent
• agree
• ahead
• alarm
• album
• alert
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• alive
• allow
• alone
• along
• alter
• among
• anger
• Angle
• angry
• apart
• apple
• apply
• arena
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• arise
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• aside
• asset
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• audit
• avoid
• award
• aware
• badly
• baker
• bases
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• beach
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• bread
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• build
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• chain
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• chest
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• china
• chose
• civil
• claim
• class
• clean
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• click
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• coach
• coast
• could
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• crash
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• crime
• cross
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• dozen
• draft
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• drawn
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• dress
• drill
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• dying
• eager
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• eight
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• enemy
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• error
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• fifth
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• forty
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• fully
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• giant
• given
• glass
• globe
• going
• grace
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• grant
• grass
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• group
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• guard
• guess
• guest
• guide
• happy
• harry
• heart
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• hence
• henry
• horse
• hotel
• house
• human
• ideal
• image
• index
• inner
• input
• issue
• japan
• jimmy
• joint
• jones
• judge
• known
• label
• large
• laser
• later
• laugh
• layer
• learn
• lease
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• major
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• maria
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• mayor
• meant
• media
• metal
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• minor
• minus
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• model
• money
• month
• moral
• motor
• mount
• mouse
• mouth
• movie
• music
• needs
• never
• newly
• night
• noise
• north
• noted
• novel
• nurse
• occur
• ocean
• offer
• often
• order
• other
• ought
• paint
• panel
• paper
• party
• peace
• peter
• phase
• phone
• photo
• piece
• pilot
• pitch
• place
• plain
• plane
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• queen
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• seven
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• whose
• woman
• women
• world
• worry
• worse
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• worth
• would
• wound
• write
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• wrote
• yield
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Hi sysadmin
Each week I thought I'd post these SysAdmin tools, tips, tutorials etc with just one link to get it in your inbox each week. Let me know any ideas for future versions in the comments.
This week is a mega list of all the items we've featured to date, broken down into categories, for you to explore at your leisure. I hope you enjoy it.
​
Free Tools
mRemoteNG is the next generation of mRemote, open source, tabbed, multi-protocol, remote connections manager. This was recommended to us by 'Oliviamcc’ who firmly believes "it is much better than Putty (SSH), Citrix, VNC, RDC, etc. "Make sure you figure out the credentials hierarchy, it works a treat and saves time every day".
MailFlow Monitor is EveryCloud's free, cloud-based, round-trip tool that sends you an alert as soon as there is an issue with your email flow. Settings are adjustable to allow you to choose how much of a delay is acceptable and which types of bounce alerts you want to see. Helps you get to the bottom of a problem before users have even noticed it.
TreeSize Free. Find and free up your or your user's free space. TreeSize Free tells you where precious disk space has gone. I've seen this recommended in too many places to mention.
PDQ Inventory and Deploy. A software deployment tool used to keep Windows PCs up-to-date without bothering end users and a systems management tool for tracking and organizing hardware, software, and Windows configuration data.
Clean. I use this on my Mac to automatically move my desktop files into monthly folders each day. It saves a load of time because I just save all files to my desktop and they're then processed later that day. I appreciate a lot of people will want windows equivalent but I can't find anything, so please leave comments on the blog post or reply to this email and I'll include the best one next week.
trace32.exe | cmtrace.exe. "It's part of Microsofts SCCM suite from a few years ago, can open very large log files and display them as they update in real time. Has saved me an insane amount of time over the years. Also looks cool and is portable." Thank you for the recommendation local_admin_user.
ISPConfig 3.1 is the next generation of the ISPConfig hosting control panel with a completely renovated UI and a lot of new features.
BlueScreenView scans all your minidump files created during 'blue screen of death' crashes, and displays the information about all crashes in one table.
Windows System Control Center (WSCC) helps to view, organize and launch utilities. It acts as a repository for various utility suites. When installing WSCC for the first time, there is an option to download and install 270 troubleshooting tools.
Check out Spiceworks Free HelpDesk and Networking Monitoring software. We've been recommended these by countless IT Pros over the years.
Monitor Active Directory Group Membership Change. This PowerShell script will monitor the Active Directory groups and notify you by email if a change occurred since the last time it checked.
ADModify.NET is a tool primarily utilized by Exchange and Active Directory administrators to facilitate bulk user attribute modifications.
There is no reason to RDP into a server once you have the RSAT tools installed. You can manage any aspect of your Windows infrastructure using these tools, and use RunAs if you need to log on as a different user.
Attack Surface Analyzer. Attack Surface Analyzer takes a snapshot of your system state before and after the installation of product(s) and displays the changes to a number of key elements of the Windows attack surface.
AWS Free. Many people aren't aware that AWS offer a free tier. Here you can create your own practice environment, replicate problems and generally learn a lot.
The Dell Warranty Checker. Thank you to Matt Fry, EveryCloud's Head of Support for this suggestion. The Dell Warranty Checker allows you to check the warranty on Dell systems. It allows you to enter the service tag to check the warranty or import them via a text file (Checks line by line). You can also export the warranty data to a CSV file to use in other applications.
NetCrunch Tools 2.0. 10+ Essential IP tools for administrators including DNS Audit, Ping Scanner, Port Scanner, Network Services Scanner. Thanks mrojek who explained "Recently updated freeware from AdRem.12 useful network tools and scanners that runs on Windows".
SQL Fiddle. A tool for easy online testing and sharing of database problems and their solutions. Thanks for the recommendation rosslib who said "You can build schema and run queries. Good for running a quick test".
Regexr. After last weeks regex cheat sheet and number of people recommended RegExr which is an online tool to learn, build, & test Regular Expressions.
Switch Miner. Ever have trouble figuring out what's connected where? Switch Miner is a port-discovery tool that can help locate all the devices connected to any switch. This handy utility can also discover and scan neighboring switches via CDP. And best of all, it's free!
LetsMonitor.org is a free service that alerts you when your site certificates are misconfigured or nearing expiration. Notifications can be sent to multiple contacts.
RBLmon helps you proactively solve mail-delivery issues. This fully automated online service tracks your IP addresses against the most-popular real-time blacklists (RBLs). The moment any of your IP addresses are found in a monitored RBL, RBLmon will send an immediate email notification to alert you, so you can get busy solving the problem.
WizTree helps you quickly find the files and folders using the most disk space on your hard drive. Rather than searching the drive and checking each file to determine size, WizTree gets its information straight from the NTFS Master File Table—which means it happens almost instantaneously. While this approach makes WizTree faster than any other type of program in this category, it only works with NTFS filesystems.
JuiceSSH is a simple, intuitive Terminal client for Android with SSH, Local Shell, Mosh, and Telnet support. Features a full-color Terminal with adjustable font size, keyboard including special characters, plugins, and key import/export/generation.
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Quotes
"Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn't loan them out to strangers." Source Unknown
"Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks." An Unknown SysAdmin.
"If you want immediate feedback, always make changes in production" Source: Unknown.
"It's easy to forget that the ultimate goal of systems administration is to make systems, applications and services available to people who use them to get their jobs done. A good systems administrator must be able to communicate and get along well with others." Source article here.
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Tips
Are you being effective or just efficient? “Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things.” This can make all the difference whether you're a SysAdmin, CTO or MSP. The way I think about this is essentially; are you being very organized (effective) working towards your specific goals (effective), or just being organized, feeling good about it, but achieving little. Read more about this in the "Effective Executive" by Peter Drucker.
Speed up your mouse pointer. Mine is at max. Try it. It's strange for the first hour, then you get used to it and get everything done faster.
Windows Key + directional arrows will move and resize windows. (I.e., Windows Key + Up will maximize the window, windows key + left will snap it to the left of the screen and make it full height, WK + right will do the same but on the right side of the screen, WK + down will minimize the window.)
From greatshittywifi: "For Windows desktop cleanup I just wrote a simple batch script. Make yourself a folder called "sorted" or something and in it a subfolder for common file types "jpg", "png", "gif", etc. Then open up notepad, and paste this in:
move *.jpg "F:\sorted\jpg\"move *.png "F:\sorted\png\"move *.gif "F:\sorted\gif\"
Save it with a .bat extension, and voila! I'm sure you could modify this approach to detect file extensions, then mkdirs and move everything from a for loop if you want to go that far."
Quickly Find a MAC Address. Rather than going through network dialog windows or scrolling through long lists via ipconfig, simply open up a command prompt and type getmac. It’s quick, and easy, especially if you have multiple NIC interfaces.
Import PST files to Office 365 Exchange. For all of you Office 365 users, this is an option you need in your armory.
Here's a simple trick for physically tracing unlabelled server-room cables: Slide a velcro loop or binder clip along the cable until you reach the other end.
Use a mobile app barcode scanner to input IT hardware inventory. Just scan, then copy and paste instead of entering manually. You'll save a little time and eliminate the possibility of introducing typos.
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Podcasts
Sysadmin Today. EveryCloud was featured on this podcast and it is hosted by a (now) partner of ours, but it's mostly about his experiences as a Sysadmin.
DevOpsCafe. The new Season is now live from this impressive podcast by John Willis & Damon Edwards, which includes interviews and stories from the world of DevOps & System Administration.
The Admin Admin Podcast. A British IT Admin Podcast I stumbled across "for people who work in the Real world of IT. If you are a sysadmin or want to learn more about servers this podcast is for you."
Iron Sysadmin Podcast. This podcast features expert sysadmins covering all manner of topics of interest in their field. Since 2016, Iron Sysadmin has been covering the latest industry news, ideas, strategies, and chat—always with a focus on the practical needs of real-world sysadmins.
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Tutorials
50 UNIX / Linux Sysadmin Tutorials. Enjoy!
TechNet for Microsoft. The TechNet Library contains technical documentation for IT professionals using Microsoft products, tools, and technologies. ​
OmniSecu.com. Free Networking Tutorials, Free System Administration Tutorials and Free Security Tutorials. So much here.
Techgenix. Azure, Powershell, Active Directory Tutorials and more. Tons to learn.
SysAdmin Tutorials. Organised neatly into subjects from Microsoft to Cisco, you'll find easy to follow videos for SysAdmins and IT Pros generally.
John Lambert's Office Lures Presentation. "Has some high-quality training material for common phish attacks that are a more subtle than the usual Nigerian prince. John is a security researcher at Microsoft and is a solid twitter follow as well if you like seeing emergent threats and nature hikes simultaneously." Thank you for the tip ReallyLongUserName01.
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Thoughts I’ve been pondering
ASAP is Poison. When everything is urgent, nothing is. Don't get a reputation as the ASAP gal / guy, or nobody will take you seriously when you really need them.
Paraphrased from a great book on building a business. REWORK from the Founders of Basecamp.
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The best travel jacket we've seen
BAUBAX 2.0. This one was found by my business partner Matt Baker. If you have to travel a lot with your role, you'll love this.
SCOTTeVEST. The last travel Jacket I included had the most clicks to date... Not sure what that say's about you guys... Secretly wanting to travel the world on a motorbike? Anyway, staven11 threw this one in the ring.
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The Ultimate IT Admin Knife
Maker Knife. This one came from our own team. It's very cool and now you'll look forward to cutting those cables!
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Websites
MS Exchange Guru. This is actually run by a friend of ours (you’ll note the MailFlow Monitor banner) who has helped us with a number of challenging exchange issues. It's amazing for all things exchange and email.
LandScape by Alen Kremlj. This great overview lists the various vendors in each space.
explainshell.com. A website that explains shell commands. If you are unfamiliar with certain commands or switches this will give you a breakdown of that specific command.
Spiceworks.com. It's a bit of everything for IT. IT Pro forum, product reviews, free software and tutorials. Check it out, we've been using it for years.
KrebsOnSecurity. I've had the pleasure of talking with Brian but even prior to this I was a fan of his honest, clear and informative site. It's a source I trust for all things security.
GFI TechTalk is an online community for IT pros. Experts weigh in on the latest technologies and ideas in system administration. Features news, insights, and tools.
Awesome Sysadmin. "A curated list of amazingly awesome open source sysadmin resources." Thank you ReallyLongUserName01 for the suggestion. There is so much good stuff in here.
Experts Exchange. We've found this useful over the years to learn more about a particular topic, but also to dig deeper and get answers to tricker technical challenges.
400+ Free Resources for Sysadmins. Thanks DZone and Morpheus Data for this list of free resources for DevOps engineers and System Admins, or really anyone wanting to build something useful out of the internet.
Servers For Hackers. Teaching the server tech you need for development and production. Eliminating the frustration of server configuration. Start here.
4sysops is an online community for IT professionals. "In our weblog, experienced IT pros cover the latest technologies in system administration, cloud computing and DevOps. On our news page, you'll find updates about new developments in IT, in the wiki users can share their IT know-how, and in the forum, members can ask IT administration questions or discuss the latest hot IT topics. The most active members are rewarded with a monthly bonus."
Reddit SysAdmin Multi: /netsec /networking /pwned /linuxadmin all in one! I've just worked out you can string multiple subreddits together, so I thought I'd share.
/PowerShell. tattsumi pointed out this lesser known subreddit for Powershell. Check out this 'Sneaky PowerShell Trick' to run completely without a window.
Wahl Network is a weekly technical blog with a focus on data-center technologies, business challenges, and new products and solutions. The site was founded by Chris Wahl in 2010, with a goal of providing technical solutions for SysAdmins.
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Books
The Practice of Cloud System Administration: DevOps and SRE Practices for Web Services, Volume 2 is a comprehensive guide to cloud computing. Using examples from Google, Etsy, Twitter, Facebook, Netflix, Amazon, and others, concepts are explained such that practical applications become clear. Major topics include designing modern web and distributed systems, using the latest DevOps/SRE strategies, and evaluating your team’s operational effectiveness.
The Innovators: How a Group of Hackers, Geniuses, and Geeks Created the Digital Revolution. A great read to geek out on, packed with tons of stories about how our modern IT world has come about, including how the first programming language was written by a woman during the 19th century.
Taming Information Technology: Lessons from Studies of System Administrators. "It is essentially an ethnographic study of system administrators. The authors videotaped and otherwise documented SA's over a period of time and were able to break down a number of fascinating incidents and how to improve the art. I'm disappointed this hasn't been recommended reading for all SA's and maybe more importantly, their bosses, who too often don't really know what SA's do." Thank you very much for point this out AngryMountainBiker.
The Cuckoo's Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage. As one review says: "A great read. If you're a Unix sysadmin, like me, you will recognize and empathize with a lot of the concepts. If you've been doing sysadmin work for more than a decade, like myself, then you'll remember the old technologies as described in this book - the modems, the bulletin boards, the days before "ssh" ... If you're a new-school sysadmin, then you will be surprised to see a lot of things haven't changed in the world of Unix: telnet is still around, the "root" account is still around. The foundations of Unix were laid in the early 1970s. The events of this book took place in the 1980s. And many of the command line tools are still in use today."
Time Management for System Administrators: Stop Working Late and Start Working Smart. I'm a big fan of time management or more specifically using the time we have to be as effective (not just efficient) as possible. This book had been recommended to the team as it tackles this subject specifically for SysAdmins.
The Practice of System and Network Administration: Volume 1: DevOps and other Best Practices for Enterprise IT (3rd Edition). As a recent review puts it "This book is a crucial library item for any System or Network Administrator regardless of how many years you have under your belt. I picked up the second edition when I first became a sysadmin and it helped me a lot throughout my career. I was very excited when it was announced that this third edition was coming as the second edition has not aged well. The third edition is the perfect, much needed update to the second edition. This new version is definitely now up-to-date and should hopefully give us another decade of service. I definitely recommend this book for the sysadmin in your life or in your office. I always recommend it to my colleagues as it contains valuable information for your career. In fact, buy a few copies because if you loan this book out, I doubt you'll get it back!"
Ghost in the Wires. This is the intriguing true story of Kevin Mitnick, who was the most-elusive computer hacker in history. He broke into networks at the world's biggest companies, all the while being pursued by the Feds. The complex cat-and-mouse game that ensued ultimately inspired permanent changes in the way companies protect their sensitive data.
Essential System Administration is a practical, comprehensive guide for the Unix sysadmin, covering all the fundamentals required to run AIX, FreeBSD, HP-UX, Linux, Solaris, Tru64, and more. Organized to fit the system administrator's job, it discusses higher-level concepts and the procedural details to carry them out. This updated version covers: DHCP, USB devices, the latest automation tools, SNMP and network management, LDAP, PAM, and recent security tools and techniques.
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SysAdmin CheatSheets
Ultimate List of Cheatsheets for a Sysadmin. ServersAustralia put together this list of cheat sheets containing everything from Apache to Drupal.
GeekFlares Cheatsheets List. Last weeks cheatsheets were extremely popular, so following the same theme we searched for an additional list and this is the best we could find.
OverAPI.com is a site collecting all the cheatsheets, all!
Regular Expressions Cheat Sheet by DaveChild. Our Email Protection Service allows the use of regex to manage inbound and outbound mailflow. Our support team passed us this handy cheatsheet which includes symbols, ranges, grouping, assertions and some sample patterns to get you started.
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SysAdmin Blogs
Spamresource.com. One close to our hearts. There is so much useful information in here on spam prevention and deliverability.
LoneSysAdmin.net. "Hi, I’m Bob Plankers. I am a virtualization architect, system administrator, storage administrator, network administrator, end user, project manager, and developer."
Kevin Marquette's Blog about PowerShell is packed full of value. Kevin also recommends the PowerShell News Podcast, which you can check out here.
10 Things is a blog on assorted technologies, strategies, and techniques of interest to the IT professional. Content is broken down into informative 10-point lists, so it's always a quick, concise read.
All About Microsoft. Microsoft watcher Mary Jo Foley's blog covers the products, people, and strategies that make Microsoft tick.
The Daily WTF. Founded in 2004 by Alex Papadimoulis, The Daily WTF is your how-not-to guide for developing software. We recount tales of disastrous development, from project management gone spectacularly bad to inexplicable coding choices.
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IT Pro Comedy
The Expert. This one made me laugh, having been on both sides of the table. Ever been in a meeting like this?
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A Good Twitter Follow
SwiftPOnSecurity. "I talk systems security, author https://DecentSecurity.com + http://GotPhish.com, write Scifi, sysadmin, & use Oxford commas. Kinda prefer they/them."
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A Slack Channel
PowerShell Slack. "We have had a Virtual User Group on FreeNode IRC since before PowerShell was generally available, and we added a PowerShell Slack chapter years ago. Join the thousands of members getting real-time assistance!
Have a fantastic week!!
u/crispyducks (Graham O’Reilly @ EveryCloud)
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Why am I doing this each week?
I want to be mindful of the rules of the subreddit, so if you’d like to know more about my reasons for doing this, please visit the the sister post on /SysAdminBlogs here.
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Edit: As usual please let us know you're ideas for future posts, they're always very much appreciated!
Edit2: Wow... Real gold!! What an honour. Thank you generous friend.
Edit 3: We've set up /itprotuesday. Subscribe to be sure you get these in your feed each week plus extras :)

I made a wish to be there for Faye and Rosy Posy and those six weeks away from Earth felt like a dream. A surreal dream with crazy discoveries and disturbing revelations. An emotional dream where the lines of friendship blurred. A harsh dream filled with fear, vulnerability, and acceptance.
Now that I was back on Earth, that dream crawled into my mind every night, blending with older memories as it made me relive the most difficult yet fascinating period of my life. Writing it out, I smiled, I cried, and I cringed, but I never regretted making that wish.
----
An annoying hum buzzed in my head. I opened my eyes, then I jolted upright, my heart racing as I found myself on the floor of a small stone room near a metal bed, desk, chair, and closet. There were no windows, but the ceiling was glowing an electric blue, tinting everything in the room.
The smell of sweat, smoke, and blood overpowered that of dust and I looked down, my memories pouring back in at the sight of my grimy skin, clean jeans, and the shirt Faye made for me.
I wasn’t on Earth anymore!
I jumped up and ran out of the room to look for Faye, Rosy Posy, and Ria and her twins. On the left side of the square hallway was another bedroom that looked just like mine. I peeked in and smiled when I saw Rosy Posy sleeping on the floor and hugging her stuffed elephant doll.
I wanted to carry her to the bed, but I realized Tyson probably left us on the floor on purpose because we were both covered in dirt, soot, and blood. Rosy Posy was a laid-back kid who never seemed to mind where she slept, so I didn’t feel bad leaving her to search the rest of the house.
The room across from hers was a bathroom. The ceiling, walls, and floor were similar to those in the bedrooms, and the metal sink, shower, and toilet looked just the ones on Earth. The toilet even had a bidet like the one the boss had.
Finding the bathroom empty, I walked to the room across from mine. It also looked like the bedrooms, but instead of furniture, it had a stone counter with two metal cabinets underneath it. There was no one in here either, and my excitement shifted to worry.
The last time I saw Faye, she was a traumatized and newly triggered Sniper, so she had to be in either training or therapy right now. As for Ria, she probably demanded a separate house for herself and her boys. They could even be our neighbors!
My excitement returning, I looked for a door to the outside, but all the stone walls were solid. They must have a different way of entering and leaving houses here, I just had to find it.
Intrigued, I walked back to the room with the counter and opened the left cabinet. Inside, I found a stack of metallic boxes the size of bricks. I picked one up and shook it. It was lighter than I expected, but it didn’t rattle or slosh. I tried to open it, but all the sides and corners were solid, so I shrugged and put it back.
The second cabinet was empty, but the dark blue walls inside shimmered like a stormy night sky. I stared, mesmerized, and reached in. My fingers tingled when I made contact, and I smiled as my hands left fleeting sparks of lightning across the smooth surface.
Unsure of their purpose but confirming they weren’t doors, I closed the cabinets and began pressing against the walls, floor, and countertop, hoping to find a secret portal. Nothing gave way. Not discouraged, I made my way to the bathroom, but no doorway was revealed there either.
I checked the two bedrooms next as thoroughly as I could without waking Rosy Posy. I didn’t find any doors, but I did find coveralls, socks, underwear, and boots in the closets, a single grey set for me and one for Rosy Posy. There wasn’t a matching set for Faye, though, which confused me as I assumed she’d be sharing a bedroom with her daughter.
Maybe Faye’s training and therapy were going to take a while so she wasn’t going to be living with us yet. I hoped Tyson was right and that she’d be back to her bright, cheerful, sweet, curious self soon. She deserved a good life after everything she’d been through, and I hoped she’d find it here now that she’d discovered her abilities and was where she belonged.
It was crazy to think that she’d been half-human all along, and that she could now control metal and that Rosy Posy could incinerate people. My mind still hadn’t properly processed everything that happened last night.
I wasn’t on Earth anymore!
Just the thought made my stomach flip with excitement. I didn’t know where I was exactly, but I was ready to be there for Faye and Rosy Posy and make sure they didn’t feel alone in a strange place.
This house didn’t compare to the boss’s mansion, but it was a lot nicer than my old apartment. I could get used to living here. I just wished someone would come by soon to let me know where to find the exit, where to find the switch to turn off the glowing blue ceiling, and how to stop that annoying buzzing sound.
I looked up, squinting. The ceiling was the only part of the house I hadn’t checked for a door yet. I ran to the room with the cabinets, stood on the counter, and raised my arms above my head, but they didn’t touch anything despite them having passed the edge of the wall. Confused, I gripped the edge and pulled myself up, only to freeze as I tried to understand what I was looking at.
There was no ceiling.
The entire sky was glowing electric blue, uniform and blank without a sun or cloud in sight. Strange blue sponges littered the grey dirt around the isolated house, and in the distance, a metal gate surrounded the deserted stretch of land.
I struggled to take in this eerie reality. It felt like I was behind the scenes at an apocalyptic movie before they added in the after-effects. A faint scent lingered in the air, inexplicably reminding me of printer ink, but there was no wind or movement and my ears failed to pick up a sound other than that incessant buzzing.
A shiver ran down my spine. It felt like I was the only one alive inside a broken simulation.
I jumped off the counter and ran to Rosy Posy’s room, anxious. Her skin was tinted blue and I hoped it was just because of the glowing sky. I placed a hand under her nose, then sighed with relief at her soft breath. She was alive, and I was sure someone was going to drop by to tell us where we were and help us adjust to our new life.
My stomach grumbled and I frowned. I hoped they’d come soon, because there was no food in the house and I didn’t know how I was going to care for Rosy Posy if I couldn’t feed her.
I turned to the bathroom and narrowed my eyes, wondering if water here was also food. Hopeful, I tested the sink, and I smiled as silky blue water flowed over my fingers. A black rock sat near the tap and I rubbed it between my hands. It didn’t lather, but it smelled fresh and left my skin squeaky clean.
Afterwards, I took a tentative sip. It tasted a little bit like pears, but it slid down my throat like warm milk. It was weird yet satisfying, and I ended up gulping six handfuls before Rosy Posy’s scream startled me.
I coughed, sputtering out water as I dashed to her room, and I found her cowering in the furthest corner from the stuffed elephant she’d flung across the room.
“Mamaaa!” she wailed, staring in fear at her once beloved doll.
“Rosy Posy! It’s okay! I’m here!” I said from the doorway.
She turned to me but didn’t move from her petrified position. “Kaiii!”
“Yes, I’m here!” I said, wishing I could hug her but knowing it’d mean death if she didn’t calm down. “What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
She glanced at her doll again before she sobbed, “I want Dumpty Dumpty!”
“Okay, no problem! I’ll get him for you!”
I walked over to the old doll and picked him up. He was usually a cheerful green color, but the blue light had turned him a dull grey. He also reeked of smoke, blood, and pee and the seam along his back was ripped with shredded fabric spewing out.
I turned to hand him to her and she screamed and recoiled, making me flinch. “It’s okay!” I said, backing away. “Look, this is Dumpty Dumpty!”
“No, he’s not!” she bawled, the lost look in her eyes breaking my heart.
It had to be the color that was throwing her off, and I tried to figure out a way to convince her that this doll wasn’t an imposter. I looked at her closet and got an idea. Back on Earth, we’d sometimes wear similar clothes to match up, and I hoped she’d find that excuse just as fun now.
I pulled out her grey set of clothes and held up her coveralls. “Look, these are for you! I have the same thing in my closet, and Dumpty Dumpty’s wearing grey too! Isn’t that cool?”
Her sobs got quieter as she took in my words. “Dumpty Dumpty?”
“Yes! Just wearing a different color so we can match together!”
She reached up, hesitant, and I handed the doll over. She studied him with suspicion, but then she relaxed as she rubbed his ear between her fingers, an old comforting habit that left it frayed.
“Kai, sing ‘Ring a Rosy’?”
“Sure thing! You and me, like always, right?”
She nodded, so I began, “Ring around the…”
“Rosyyy,” she chimed in, sniffling.
“Pocket full of…”
“Posyyy.”
“Ashes, ashes…”
“We aw faw down.”
She smiled, wiping her nose on her sleeve, and I smiled back as I sat on the floor next to her. She crawled onto my lap and I hugged her as she snuggled close. She smelled just like Dumpty Dumpty and her clothes were stained, but it seemed like Tyson had healed her as her cuts and bruises were gone. She just went through the same crazy evening I did, but I wasn’t sure how much she understood about what happened or how we ended up here.
“Where’s mama?” she asked.
I hesitated, struggling to find an answer before I replied, “She’s at the doctor.”
“Where’s Dotty?”
“He’s at his house. We’re in our own house, just you, me, and your mama. Isn’t that cool?”
“Mama’s mashing like Dumpty Dumpty too?”
“Of course.”
She pointed at her coveralls. “I wanna wear that. And you too to mash like Dumpty Dumpty.”
“Sure! But first we have to take a shower, because we’re gross and smelly.”
She giggled. “Gross and smelly ogres.”
She roared as she clawed at my face, then she shrieked with laughter as I hoisted her up.
“Yes, we are!” I said, carrying her to the bathroom. “And now we’re going to our swamp!”
I balanced her on my hip as I twisted the only lever in the shower area, and she yelped in surprise when blue water rushed down.
“Blue!”
“Yes, everything is blue in our swamp!” I reached for the black soap. “Except this!”
“A rock?”
“Yes, a rock soap for ogres!” I sniffed it and nodded before I gave it to Rosy Posy. “What do you think?”
She took a deep whiff and copied me with her own approving nod. “I like it!”
“Awesome!”
I put her down and helped her get ready. Faye or Ria were the ones who usually bathed her, but she didn’t seem uncomfortable around me. We scrubbed away the blood, soot, and grime from her skin and used the soap on her hair as well, since there was no shampoo. After we finished, I realized there were no towels. Not having many options, I dragged over my bedsheet and dried her off before I helped her slip into her new clothes.
She patted her outfit in excitement and looked up at me. “And you!”
“And me! Give me five minutes!”
Since there was nothing for her to watch, to draw on, or to listen to, I unlaced my new boots and handed them to her as a distraction. “While I’m taking a shower, can you lace these up so I can wear them?”
“Okay!” she chirped as she took them and sat on the bedroom floor.
I left her and went to the bathroom, where I shot a self-conscious glance at the sky before I stripped and jumped in the shower. The warm water was soothing, and I quickly washed up and dressed before I dashed out to check on Rosy Posy.
She was still on the floor, and she gave me a mischievous smile as she shoved the boots towards me. She’d laced them together, and she snickered when I thanked her before she doubled over with laughter when I put them on and hobbled around with dramatic confusion.
After I taught her the proper way to lace them, she helped me as we washed our original clothes and shoes. With nowhere practical to hang them, I climbed on the counter and draped everything over the edge of the wall.
“Kai? I’m hungry.”
I slid off of the counter, dreading this moment. “Me too. How about we drink first?”
I lifted her so she could take a sip of water from the sink, and she scrunched up her face at the taste. “Eww, I don’ like it.”
“That’s because you have to have five gulps before you start to like it!”
She eyed me in suspicion as I drank. “Mmm, very yummy!” I said, patting my stomach. “And it’s making me feel full too!”
Curious, she had some more, and although she wasn’t convinced that it was yummy, she thankfully agreed that it made her full.
We spent some time exploring the house together, and I tried my best to answer her infinite questions. We ended up in the room with the counter, and we sat on the floor as I introduced her to the shimmering right cabinet. After a few minutes of running our hands over its electric surface, we opened the left cabinet and took out all forty-two metallic boxes.
We began stacking them on the floor like building blocks, but just as we placed the last box on top of our lopsided tower, Rosy Posy jumped up and knocked it over before she darted away, giggling.
“I’m a big bad dagin and you can’ cash me!”
“Oh, yes I can!”
The house didn’t leave much room for running and hiding, but we made do as I pretended not to notice her slinking inside the closets or crawling beneath the beds. As I searched under my desk, complaining about how dragons always got the best of me, she pounced on my back and shrieked with laughter as I stood up and flailed in exaggerated anger.
I managed to pull her off and I flung her on the bed before I attacked her with tickles, and she laughed as she smacked me with Dumpty Dumpty. Being merciful, I forgave the dragon for her crimes and leaned back, both of us staring at the glowing sky as we lay on the bed.
After catching our breaths, Rosy Posy rubbed her eyes and sighed in irritation. “My eyes are too blue.”
I chuckled. “Mine too. I’m forgetting what red and orange and yellow looked like!”
“And green and white...and san’wish!”
She snickered at her own joke as I turned to her in amusement. “Of course, sandwich, the best color!”
She propped herself up on her elbows. “I wanna san’wish.”
“Me too, but we have to wait for someone to come get us food.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s no food here.”
“Why?”
“Because we moved here really fast so they didn’t have time to prepare everything for us.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re very busy. But they’ll be here soon. Do you know how I think they’ll get here?”
“No, how?”
I delved into a made-up story that involved spaceships, delivery pods, and liquid walls that you could walk through. I didn’t know if she understood everything I was saying, but it kept us both distracted enough until we drifted off to sleep.
I found myself surrounded by fire, my legs chopped off and my arms tied behind my back. Faye and Rosy Posy were face-down on the floor as the fire ate them and I tried to scream for help, but I ended up choking as smoke clogged my throat like saturated cloth.
A shadow glided towards me and I looked up in hope, only to shrink away as Flint hovered over me, knives sticking out of him and a giant gun in his hands, the flames reflecting off of his wild eyes and toothy grin. He bent over, and I cowered in horror as he mutated into Tyson and smirked. He shoved the gun under my chin with such force it felt like it went through my brain and I thrashed as I tried to escape.
“Kai?”
I jerked upright, panting, the bed disheveled as my fists gripped the fitted sheet tight. I gulped and took a few deep breaths, trying to tame my racing heart as sweat trickled down the side of my face.
Rosy Posy stood in front of me, worried. “Bad dream?”
I nodded, still trying to shake away the nightmare.
“You and me,” she said before she began to sing, “Ring a ring a…”
I looked at her and she raised her eyebrows, expectant. “Ring a ring a…”
I sniffled before I chimed in with a shaky whisper. “Rosyyy.”
“Pocky fulla…”
“Posyyy.”
“Ashes, ashes…”
“We all fall down.”
She smiled. “Okay?”
I nodded, smiling back as I wiped my tears. “Yes, thank you.”
She sidled up to me for a hug and I held her tight. Our new life wasn’t going to be easy, but we had each other. We could get through this together.
“Kai? I wanna pee.”
I took her to the bathroom and showed her how everything worked before I waited for her outside. After a few minutes, she walked out with her coveralls unbuttoned and asked me to help her wash her hands. While lifting her so she could reach the sink, I could hear her grumbling stomach dueting with mine.
I put her down and began buttoning her coveralls, and she wiped her wet hands on my sleeves as she asked, “Where’s mama?”
“She’s still at the doctor, but soon she’ll be with us!”
“And Dotty?”
“No, he’s at his home with Dr. Aurora, Zale, and Cinderella. We won’t see them anymore because we’re in our own house now.” I handed her Dumpty Dumpty with a smile. “But that’s okay! We can make new friends here, right?”
She seemed tired as she smiled back. “Yes.”
I held my hand out for her to hold, but she shuffled closer and lifted her arms instead. “Up?”
I carried her, and she leaned her head on my shoulder with a sigh. “Kai? I’m hungry.”
I felt terrible for not having a way to feed her. I glanced up at the exposed sky. If no one was going to come for us, then I had to go out to find either help or food. I walked to the room with the cabinets and set Rosy Posy down between the metallic boxes she’d knocked over.
“I’m going to climb up there and see if I can find food,” I said, pointing.
“And me?”
“No, you stay here and I’ll be back soon.”
“I wanna go wi’ you!”
“Okay, sure, no problem!” I looked around for a way to distract her. “But first I have to check by myself to make sure it’s safe! While you’re waiting, how about you help me by putting all these boxes back?”
To my relief, she nodded and crouched down, collecting them, and I took the chance to jump on the counter and hoist myself up on the edge of the wall. I shuddered as I was met by the eerie view again. Nothing had changed since the last time. I squinted as I tried to make out any details along the metal gate in the distance, but it just seemed uniform with no obvious doors.
I looked at the ground. If I lowered myself carefully, I could drop down the rest of the way without hurting myself. The only problem would be climbing back up. I searched for a solution, and my eyes landed on the laundry we’d hung to dry.
Everything was still wet, and I shook them as I wondered how they would ever get dry without sun or wind. I reached for the bedsheets and twirled them, deciding to tie them together like in those prison break movies.
I’d barely finished tightening the knot when an explosion rocked the wall.
I gasped and dropped the bedsheets as I grabbed the edge to keep from falling off. A shrill wail followed the blast and I whipped around in a panic to look inside the room. Horror and confusion took over when I saw the cracked counter and walls splattered with dark liquid, trailing chunks, and metallic debris.
Rosy Posy’s screams emanated from beneath unidentifiable clumps that buried the floor, and I jumped down and fell to my knees as I began digging. Everything smelled like food, and that just added to my confusion as dark sauces and grey substances coated my frenzied hands.
“Rosy Posy! It’s okay! I’m here!”
Guided by my voice, two flailing arms shot up from beneath the mush, one gripping my hand while the other struck my face.
My shocked gasp evolved into an agonized scream and I jerked away from her, falling on my back as the left side of my face seared and my right hand crumbled into a charred stump of bone and sinew. I writhed against the floor, garbled cries scouring my throat as ash fluttered around me and the smell of burning flesh filled my nose.
The pain was unimaginable, and so was the situation. I’d learned only yesterday what Rosy Posy was capable of, but I never thought it could happen to me.
Despite my agony, I noticed that Rosy Posy wasn’t screaming anymore, and tears blurred my remaining eye as my mind scrambled to juggle my anguished state and my responsibilities.
“R-Rosy Owzy…sss o-okay…” I wheezed, my breaths spasming and my heart jittering.
I tried to crawl over, but the excruciating pain had chewed its way so deep into my core that I couldn’t fight it any longer as I passed out.
…
“I leave you two alone for less than a day in a house designed specifically for humans, and you go ahead and destroy it, sap your food reserves, and almost kill yourselves.”
I jolted awake at the familiar voice and sat up to see Tyson lounging atop the cracked counter as he looked down at me in amusement. The room was still a mess but the pain was gone, and I checked my hands and patted my face in relief before I turned towards Rosy Posy.
My relief vanished when I saw her lying half-buried and unconscious, her swollen face blood-streaked, her front teeth missing, and her breaths gurgling as crimson bubbles popped between her cut lips.
I turned to Tyson in desperation. “Please, help her! I wish for you to heal her!”
“Did you forget my ‘one wish per deal’ rule?”
“You healed me! Heal her! Please!”
“I healed you because we need to talk. Your relocation was quite spur-of-the-moment and you and I haven’t ironed out the details. Since Rosy’s choking to death on her blood and teeth as we speak, I’ll make this quick. I’ll heal Rosy if you agree to give me ten grandkids. Do we have a deal?”
“Yes! Deal!”
The wet rasping stopped and I turned to Rosy Posy as her chest rose with a deep steady breath. Although there was still blood on her face, her teeth were intact again and the swelling and cuts disappeared.
I looked up at Tyson, my voice shaking. “How did this happen?”
“We normally don’t shove all our food packs in the cooker at once.”
“Food packs?” I looked around at flimsy metallic shards dotting the mess. “The little boxes were food?”
“Quite convenient, aren’t they? So was the brand new cooker that you’ve managed to destroy.”
I realized what had happened when my eyes landed on the right cabinet, its sparking dark blue walls splayed and its bloodstained door halfway across the room. Rosy Posy must have shoved the boxes in the wrong cabinet and somehow activated it when she shut the door, causing it to explode with food.
“The cabinet with the electric walls is the cooker?” I asked.
“Obviously. It’s so simple a three-year-old could’ve figured it out, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from you two.”
My face heated up in shame and anger. “It wasn’t obvious. You left us alone with no instructions. I don’t know how anything works here. I don’t even know where we are. Is this another planet?”
“No, you’re in a different realm than the one Earth’s located in. There are no planets here.”
“What is a realm?”
“You couldn’t even figure out the cooker, so I doubt you’ll understand,” he said with a condescending smirk. “Humans haven’t yet mastered the ability to travel between realms, but my people had been colonizing them since the beginning of time and it’s something we continue to do.”
“What are you?” I asked, my offense shifting to curiosity. “Aliens? Demons?”
“Neither. There isn’t a word for my kind in any human language.”
“What do I call you then? Realm Vikings?”
He smiled at a private joke. “Sure, has a better ring to it than genies or fairies.”
“How many realms have you colonized?”
“Countless.”
“Is there life on them?”
“More often than not, yes.”
“So Realm Vikings use their powers to invade and kill everyone?”
“Yes, but we don’t kill everyone. We believe in diversity and offer those that surrender a chance to remain and serve.”
I tensed up. “Are you going to invade Earth?”
“We’ve already colonized your realm ages ago.”
“What! But we didn’t surrender to you! Did we?”
He laughed. “Ah, humans and their egos. Earth isn’t a realm, it’s a tiny chaotic planet in a vast realm that has other systems and beings.”
“So, Earth is…?”
“Earth is my breeding ground and we all keep an eye on it to make sure you don’t drive yourselves to extinction. If it helps you visualize, some colonies are zoos and others, like Earth, are wildlife reserves.” He smiled. “Some beings are just amusing to watch as they live their lives and we don’t meddle.
“Of course, Earth is a unique exception because it has the only beings I can procreate with, so some meddling is involved. I’ve considered turning it into a breeding farm, but humans are such twisted self-absorbed creatures that I enjoy dealing with them in their natural environment.
“They’re quite devious, which makes them very entertaining. I ensure consent by making deals, and I get a kick out of them trying to outsmart me by taking advantage of loopholes or using incantations to trap me. It’s hilarious. You also won’t believe the crazy things humans wish for, the greedy savages. I love it.”
I frowned. "Not all humans are like that."
"True, but they’re the more interesting ones."
“Why can’t you guys make your own babies?”
“I’m the last of my kind,” he said, not sounding very mournful. “We were wiped out a few millennia ago and I had to find beings to help me repopulate. My quest took centuries and resulted in miserable weaklings who didn’t even have one-thousandth of my abilities, but then I stumbled upon Earth and hit the jackpot.
“With humans, my kids have a fighting spirit and can master one element, live an average of two centuries, survive in most environments, and discover brilliant ways to make up for their inability to teleport and ‘grant wishes’. The one thing they can’t do is breed with each other, or with me, which is why I continue to rely on humans.”
“How were others like you all wiped out?” I asked, confused. “You can teleport, control all the elements, make people fall asleep, basically do magic and even heal yourself, right? How could everyone die except you? Was it more powerful beings?”
“When you’re on top, you make many enemies, and when you’re capable of anything, you underestimate them. That’s what bit us in the ass. But it won’t happen again. My kids’ limitations push them to rely on their minds as well as their abilities, and we’ve made powerful allies and have never been more successful.”
“Is every Realm Viking now your kid from a human?”
“Yes.” He nodded towards Rosy Posy. “Except for my three grandkids.”
“Where do you guys live?”
“After training, my kids are shipped off to conquer. When their endurance and abilities diminish, an unfortunate side-effect of their human side, they’re pulled from battle and assigned a job in our home realm or a colony. Then, when they get too old, they’re assigned baby duty here.”
He gestured around. “This is the nursery realm. It’s one of the smallest dullest realms we’ve colonized, consisting only of this land. It’s the perfect place for my little ones to be raised communal-style until they’re old enough to go to the triggering and training realm.”
“So this place has only little kids and seniors?”
“Yes, unless I’m too focused on controlling hostile realms and the baby numbers lag, like now, and I end up with excess ‘seniors’ hogging up resources.” He smiled. “But with grandkids possible, that shouldn’t be a problem anymore.
“Thanks to you, I broke my ‘no humans’ rule and decided to build a human sector here to see how it pans out. It’s still brand new and you’re the only occupant, but I’ll be bringing in a female human to see if grandkids work the other way around.
“If it all goes swimmingly, I’ll bring in a few more strapping human specimens. Since my kids can’t grant wishes or teleport, having a gaggle of pre-consenting humans at their disposal will definitely be more effective than having them ruin my personal playground.” He winked. “So, ready to be a dad?”
“Oh, uh…” I rubbed the back of my head. “How’s Faye doing?”
“She’s in one of our best mental health facilities in the medical realm. I have a feeling she’ll be alright.”
I smiled. “That’s good, I really hope so! And how are Ria and her twins?”
“Brilliant,” he said, grinning. “For a Tsunami and two quarter-breed Earthquakes raised on Earth, they’re exceeding their trainers’ expectations. I’m certain they’ll be battle-ready in just a few weeks.”
“That’s good too, I guess. Is that what they want?”
“It’s what all my kids want.”
“Not Faye. She doesn’t like violence.”
He gave me a sly smile. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“When can we see her?”
“After she controls her abilities and gets out of her mental funk.”
“Can we meet the seniors and kids living here?”
“No.”
I frowned. “Why not?”
“Buddy, I didn’t bring you here to mingle. You work for me and your role is to give me grandkids. You’ve got this entire area within the metal gates to frolic in, and soon you’ll have more humans to chit-chat with.”
He stood up and stretched, the food squelching beneath his giant boots. “I’ll fix this mess before I go. Do you have any questions so we can avoid further mishaps?”
“Yes, how does the cooker work?”
“You put the food pack in and close the door. The cooker is lined with preset roedtolyn. Once it comes in contact with the coded metal surface of the food packs, it activates the cooking process.”
“Roedtolyn? That sounds like Roedtome. I remember you said Ria’s twin is a Roedtome.”
“Yes, Roedtomes control roedtolyn and are the most intelligent, crucial, and trusted of the elemental manipulators.”
What is roedtolyn?”
He took out a small shimmering blue cube from his pocket and stretched it like putty, making it spark and crackle. "This is its raw form."
I stared in wonder. “Is it made of electricity?”
“Not at all," he said as he turned it back into a cube and pocketed it, "but as a human, that may be the closest comparison you’d understand."
"Is your ring roedtolyn? It looks the same."
He adjusted the wide flat band on his index finger. “Yes, but with advanced programming. Roedtolyn's uses are unparalleled, from powering our realms to facilitating communication between ourselves and others. You won’t believe how many realms, beings, and languages exist out there.”
“Not everyone speaks English?”
His guffaw shook the room. “Is that a serious question? Not even all humans speak English and you expect countless distinct realms to share your dull cumbersome language?”
My face heated up. “No, but you’re speaking English to me now so I thought…I don’t know.”
“I speak more languages than you’ve spoken words, buddy. But all my kids and all those who work for us have a roedtolyn translator implanted in their brains.” He smiled. “You have one too.”
I ran my fingers over my scalp in shock. “You did surgery on me?”
“Not surgery. Our team of expert medical Roedtomes guide the translator through to the brain and coil it around the appropriate areas, fusing it. You should now be able to understand anyone who talks to you, no matter the language.”
His last sentence wasn’t in English, and I smiled in awe as I somehow understood him. “That’s so cool! Was that your language?”
“Yes. Glad to see the implant’s working as intended on our first human!”
“Does it make me speak in any language too?”
“No, but it will help you understand written, signed, and telepathic languages. To put it simply, it translates input, not output.”
“Oh.” I thought for a few seconds. “What if the beings don’t have brains? Like, what if they’re spirits or blobs or shadows or something? How do you give them the translator?”
He raised an eyebrow, amused. “Judging by your intelligence, I didn’t take you for the creative type. Yes, not all beings we come across are organic or even physical, but roedtolyn has never failed us yet. It’s quite versatile. In fact, the translator isn’t your only roedtolyn implant.”
“Really? What else do I have?”
He smirked. “Let’s just say you got an adjustable vasectomy.”
My mouth fell open as I looked down. “What!”
“Humans are social creatures. If I’m going to put a bunch of frisky young males and females together, they’re bound to jump each other’s bones. Since I can’t deny nature, I figured I’d let them have their fun. The implants will only disengage when in proximity to an implant in my kids. This way, you can throw all the orgies you want and I won’t have to deal with your human babies.”
I blinked a few times, unnerved. “You did this without asking.”
“Do you ask a dog if it wants to get neutered or spayed?”
I bristled. “I’m not a dog.”
He seemed to be enjoying himself. “Why are you more upset about this than the translator?”
“The translator is up here and it helps me, but this is private and it takes something away.”
“It isn’t permanent, and privacy’s overrated.” He chuckled. “Says a lot about male humans when they worry more about their balls than their brain.”
I frowned and looked away, irritated and embarrassed. “Any other implants I should know about?”
“Nope. Any other questions before I go?”
I took a deep breath and turned back to him. “Yes, why’s there a buzzing sound all the time?”
“Is there?” he asked in mild surprise. “Perhaps as a human you’re picking up some sort of vibrations we can’t. Interesting.”
“Is it from the sky?”
“Perhaps.”
“Why does it glow blue? Does it ever change?”
He chuckled. “That isn’t exactly a sky, but I doubt you’ll understand if I explain what it is. I can tell you that it rarely changes.”
“What are the blue spongy things on the ground outside?”
“They’re like plants on Earth. They feed off of the ‘sky’s’ blue rays, draw water from the ground, and release oxygen. It’s the main reason I chose to build the human sector here, there aren’t many realms where humans can survive.”
“Oh.” I glanced up, squinting at the brightness. “Why don’t we have a door, windows, or a roof?”
He looked around as if he was realizing this for the first time. “Hmm, so you don’t. Well, your relocation was rather last-minute. I had a lot to do and didn’t consider the particular aesthetics. I tried to make it as familiar to you as possible. If you want a door, windows, a roof, or anything else, just say the word.”
“Yes, I’d like those. I’d also like toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, towels, toilet paper, a mop, a broom, cleaning rags, and a way to dry our laundry.”
“You don’t need towels or toilet paper. If you turn the lever in the shower, it gives you water. If you pull it out, it gives you air. Same goes for the sink and the nozzle in the toilet. As for your laundry, just hang it in the closet and twist the bar before you lock the door and they’ll be washed and steamed.”
“Oh, okay.” I looked at the mess around me. “Where do I throw the garbage?”
“Flush it.”
“Even the metallic boxes after we’ve eaten from them?”
“Yes, just ball them up and flush them.”
“Okay. Um, oh, also, can I have a clock or something? I can’t keep track of time here, it’s confusing.”
“Duly noted. Anything else?”
“Yes, maybe some books, paper, and crayons for Rosy Posy, and a swing set? And maybe a rocking chair? Faye likes those. And maybe something that plays music? We used to dance with the boss’s parrot after breakfast every morning. Oh, also, maybe a small car? I was teaching Faye to drive and she’s really good at it.”
He leaned against the wall, his head tilted in amusement as he crossed his arms. “Kronk, you must be the most starry-eyed adult human I’ve ever come across. How did Dante end up hiring someone as simple-minded as you?”
“My name is Kai, not Kronk,” I said, scowling, “and I’m not as stupid as most people think.”
“Your conviction is charming.” He crouched down and reached for Rosy Posy. “And now I’ll be taking this trouble-maker off your hands.”
I sat up. “No, why? If it’s because of what happened, I promise it won’t happen again! I’ll be more careful and you can give me fireproof clothes so I can hold her when she's scared or hurt without getting burned!”
“She’ll only incinerate you if she touches your skin, so your protection doesn’t need to be fireproof," he said as he cradled her. "But that isn’t the reason I’m taking her. Faye wants to see her daughter.”
“Oh, yea, of course! Wait, she needs this.”
I dug out Dumpty Dumpty and brushed away the food before I placed him between Rosy Posy’s limp hands. She was eight, but in Tyson’s giant arms she looked like a doll herself.
“I’ll try my best to figure out how to live here so when they move in nothing like this will ever happen again.”
“I’m sure you will,” he said with an amused smile. “Any last—"
He stopped talking and swiped his thumb over his roedtolyn ring before he spoke in what sounded like French. "Brigitte, good morning! Have you finalized your terms?” He chuckled. “Yes, I’ll let you know beforehand so you can set up an alibi … perfect … see you tomorrow!”
He swiped his thumb over the ring again. "Sorry about that. Any last questions before I go?"
I didn't reply as I stared at his ring in awe. “That's why you suddenly started talking to no one in a weird language yesterday! Your ring is a phone!"
He chuckled. "You could say that. A very advanced one."
“Can I have one in case I need to contact you?”
“No, but I’ll drop in on you every once in a while, so just save your questions until then. Anything else?”
I shook my head, and he smiled as he stood up. “Alright, catch you later, buddy! Cheers!”
…
I didn’t realize Tyson had made me fall asleep until I opened my eyes. The destruction and mess surrounding me had disappeared, but I was still coated in food and sauce. A roof now concealed the glowing sky, but I could see it through the wide window stretching over the restored counter.
A door that didn’t exist before was to my right. I opened it, and the grey dirt crunched beneath my boots as I stepped outside. Despite knowing where I was, it still felt eerie. I crouched next to one of the blue sponges, and my skin crawled as each hole in its surface pulsated like a tiny exhaling mouth.
I searched for a car or a swing set, but I didn’t find either. Perhaps Tyson was going to get them once Faye and Rosy Posy move in. The bathroom did have toiletries now, and after jumping in the shower again, I hung all my clothes in the closet to be cleaned and steamed while I walked around the house to look for further changes.
Every room had a window, but none had glass, curtains, or blinds. I couldn’t find a radio, but a strange clock hung on my wall and a broom and mop leaned against the hallway corner near a few folded rags. In Rosy Posy’s room, a rocking chair sat beside a small bookshelf filled with books and her desk had a stack of blue paper and two black pencils.
When the closet clicked, I pulled out my clothes and slipped them on, their warmth as close to a hug as I could get. I sat on the rocking chair and tucked my legs up as I sighed. It was going to take a while to adjust, but I was going to try my best to be there for Faye and Rosy Posy.
Faye
Dante
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
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SR